In this week’s episode of Keeping up With the Kardashians, we tackle two age-old KDash dramas: Scott Disick’s alcoholism and Kris Jenner’s workaholism. Yawn! Is anybody else bored already?
As any Kardashian connoisseur knows, Kris Jenner works. A lot. Dinnertime at the Jenner house proves it. Not only does the Momager not know her youngest daughter, Kylie, is on the track team, she also has no clue both Kylie and Kendall recently took a tumbling class. Distressed, Kris watches Kylie do a backflip off the wall, unaware she has a budding parkour practitioner on her hands. We might be mildly dismayed, but the girls just think Kris is drunk and forgetful.
Kris turns to Kourtney for advice, who firmly tells her mother that she needs to become more involved before she loses the youngest K sisters forever. Forever. This is dramatic stuff, people.
And speaking of drama, guess who’s baaaack? None other than Kourtney’s baby daddy Scott Disick. Scott is in therapy, telling his very patient (and also pretty gorgeous) shrink that he likes to fit in and wouldn’t mind unwinding with a couple drinks every now and again. But Scott’s cute counselor tells him that since he’s an alcoholic, he has no choice in the matter: he just can’t drink. Scott is clearly affected by her advice, but will he follow it?
We’ll find out sooner rather than later, since in the very next scene Scott tells Kourtney he’s been invited to do a club appearance — in Vegas. Kourtney is understandably nervous about Scott going to party for cash, but he keeps reassuring her he’s “not there to get drunk.” Like an understandable (ahem, whipped) girlfriend, she lets him go. She even drives him to board his jet.
Back on the Kris front, Mrs. Jenner decides to kick the mother-daughter bonding up a notch. Okay, a few notches. When the girls have friends over, Kris attempts the Soulja Boy dance (and we cringe), and when they try to run away, she follows them upstairs like a puppy dog. Sigh. These are teenage girls we’re dealing with here — hanging out with your mom in any capacity is basically social suicide.
Later, Kris conveniently invites herself along on her youngest daughters’ ice skating trip at the last minute. And although Kendall and Kylie seem genuinely excited their Mom asked to tag along, they’re also extremely embarrassed by her less-than-polished skating. We feel their pain. (Kris has no moves, on or off the ice.)
As soon as he touches down in Vegas, Scott admits he’s never seen Vegas sober. Um, really? At first, Scott, who is chilling poolside, only asks for ice water to drink. But when a friend hands him a drink, he’s quick to oblige. “Having one drink at the pool is not going to hurt anybody,” he says. Famous last words? Yes, indeed.
While out to lunch back in L.A., Bruce has to gently inform Kris that the girls — though they love her — are getting a little sick of their mom trying to be, well, one of the girls. It’s time to back off, Mama Jenner.
Meanwhile, Patrick Bateman Scott Disick is heading to his pre-gig dinner in Vegas visibly intoxicated (a Johnny Walker on the rocks will do that to ya). We can already tell that this night is not going to go as Kourtney had hoped. Scott’s old-man dinner pals even seem concerned for his (and probably their own) safety. After Scott promises to behave, he slaps one elderly companion across the face. Not good.
They old folks aren’t the only ones concerned. Kourtney, who decides to stay the night at Khloé’s while her baby daddy is away, calls Scott to check up on him. There’s no answer. Uh oh! Good-hearted Khloé tries to ease Kourtney’s nerves by suggesting Scott’s in the shower. Nice try, Khloé, but Kourtney knows better.
The next scene can easily be summed up in four little words: “Scott in Club Wasted.” He seems surprised that there are “drinks everywhere.” Then again, we’re surprised Scott actually calls Kourtney back. Guess nobody knows what to expect this episode!
In true Kardashian fashion, beefs are squashed with an apology. Kris tells Kendall and Kylie she’s sorry for being all up in their biz. The girls actually respond pretty well to Kris’ little heart to heart. Despite all their issues, we can tell this is one family who really love each other. (Cue the “Aww’s!”)
Finally, we see Scott back at home. He acts like he hasn’t been raging the past few days and suggests that Kourtney owes him an apology for thinking he would get out of hand. Who does this guy think he is? We can’t help but be disgusted, not only by his behavior, but also by that cocky little grin. We’re pretty sure we prefer it when Mr. Disick is M.I.A.