8:00 — Talk about drama...
8:02 — Sharna! We miss you. Please come back. You can replace Peta...
8:02 — Awkward dancing alert!
8:03 — No Carrie Ann. Just no... Julianne, you can stay.
8:04 — How fierce does Julianne Hough look, though? So cute! Plus, the mermaid hair is très chic.
8:05 — "I'm tired and I'm f-----g PMS'ing!" Cheryl Burke is my hero.
8:08 — Fact: Jack is jealous of Corbin Bleu. Who isn't?
8:09 — I'm not a fan of the Quickstep, but Jack is keeping up with Cheryl — PMS and all!
8:11 — Louis Van Amstel is in the audience... will he be guest judging next week?
8:11 — "Ballroom is definitely your strong suit," says Julianne, but he has to "have fun."
8:12 — "Jumping Jack Flash!" says Bruno. Oy.
8:12 — 8-8-8 for Jack and Cheryl!
8:17 — Kristen Davis needs to be on Dancing With the Stars. Charlotte York forever.
8:19 — When Val tries to make puns, a little part of me dies.
8:19 — What is Val wearing?
8:20 — We wouldn't mind staring into Val's eyes...
8:20 — Love this Argentine Tango. This is the most I've liked Elizabeth all season.
8:22 — Everybody loves Elizabeth. And Julianne loves Val's choreography.
8:24 — 9-9-9 for Elizabeth and Val!
8:30 — Brant is on a mission to score the first 10 of the season.
8:30 — Peta, never wear that lipstck ever again.
8:31 — "I'm a mess." That should be the DWTS slogan.
8:31 — I'm really nervous about this Salsa.
8:32 — And the shirt comes off! Brant definitely knows what his assets are.
8:33 — I've never been so nervous during a Salsa.
8:33 — "This is an awkward moment, but..."
8:34 — I agree with Carrie Ann and Julianne. Brant looked good shirtless, but his Salsa needed work. Those moves looked a little ridiculous.
8:35 — "I thought you were a good boy." NO BRUNO.
8:36 — 7-7-7 for Brant and Peta!
8:42 — So is Julianne playing favorites? Her loyalty lies with the pros...
8:43 — Yes, I will cry during Valerie and Tristan's Viennese Waltz.
8:46 — When Valerie cries, we all cry.
8:46 — Julianne bows down to Valerie. Queen V.
8:47 — "Let him do the work, my darling," says Bruno. That sounds good to us.
8:48 — "I'm here for the party... and you guys throw a great one."
8:50 — 6-6-6 for Valerie and Tristan!
8:51 — I feel like Leah Remini speaks for the general public.
8:57 — Where did Leah's spark go? It looked like she was moving in slow motion at times...
8:58 — Leah is serving J.Lo realness tonight, though.
8:58 — Carrie Ann feels like there's a disconnect between the face and the movements, and we have to agree.
9:00 — 8-8-8 for Leah and Tony.
9:00 — CAN THE JUDGES PLEASE START TO MIX IT UP?
9:01 — How cute is Snooki's hair?
9:01 — "Let's do it, Wildcat." Stop it, Karina. You're making me fangirl.
9:02 — Karina is going for a traditional Paso Doble. This should be interesting...
9:04 — NOW THAT IS HOW YOU DO A TRADITIONAL PASO DOBLE! Bow down, everyone else.
9:06 — 9-9-9 for Corbin and Karina! (If Corbin wasn't so good, he would have the first 10 of the season. That Paso was incredible.)
9:12 — Snooki and Sasha's cheerleading routine is going to me a-mah-zing.
9:13 — Seriously, how is Snooki taking care of a 1-year-old and rehearing five days a week?!
9:15 — Snooki isn't the best dancer this season, but she's definitely the most fun to watch.
9:15 — "You're like my little nugget. I love you!" Way to be critical, Julianne.
9:16 — Watch those kicks and flicks, Snooks.
9:17 — #TRexArms
9:17 — 8-8-8 for Snooki and Sasha. Why are the judges giving the same scores?!
9:22 — Why is Christina being such a diva?
9:23 — Is she chewing gum? Or just pretending to?
9:24 — This Foxtrot is better than that clown routine last week...
9:25 — Bruno says Christina needs more work on her hold. We agree. She's great at being sexy, but there wasn't much Foxtrot technique.
9:26 — "I've danced with Mark.. you really have to stand in front to make sure you're seen." Thank you, Julianne for saying what we've always thought — Mark is such a showoff!
9:27 — 8-8-8 for Christina and Mark!
9:31 — Amber is so cute. She just doesn't want to disappoint anyone.
9:33 — A Kanye West Tango? Yes, please!
9:35 — For as little rehearsal time as she had, Amber looked amazing.
9:35 — That hold position was lovely.
9:36 — OK, Derek and Julianne. Stop being adorable.
9:37 — 9-9-9 for Amber and Derek!
9:42 — Bill and Emma are the cutest. I think they might be my favorites this season.
9:43 — "Now I just feel like I look like a creepy old man."
9:44 — I need a GIF of this Samba. There was a lot of hip thrusting.
9:46 — Bill is the "heart of the show," says Julianne. And then she compared him to her dad.
9:47 — "I thought I was going to wet myself."
9:47 — #BlueCollarBill
9:48 — 7-7-7 for Bill and Emma!
9:48 — Bill and Emma are safe! And then Bill starts to sob. Quit playing games with my heart, Bill!
9:54 — Elizabeth and Val are safe! Followed by Leah and Tony, Corbin and Karina, and Amber and Derek!
9:55 — Jack and Cheryl are safe, as are Christina and Mark.
9:55 — So who's going home?
9:55 — Snooki and Sasha are safe!
9:56 — Is it Valerie or Brant? Who do you want to go home?
9:57 — Valerie and Tristan are OUT. Now we can all go sob in a corner.
Do you think the right couple went home this week? Sound off in the comments!
Crystal Bell is an editor at Wetpaint Entertainment and our resident fangirl. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!