Bachelorette 2014 Logic Fails From the Men Tell All Special
Hands up if you watched The Bachelorette's Men Tell All special while listening to the dulcet tones of "I'll Make Love To You" (sung by Andi Dorfman's boyfriends) and wondering what in the world was going on. We're right there with you.
While it was amazing watching Andi's rejects indulge in a therapeutic hang session with Chris Harrison (or "daddy" as he now calls himself), there were definitely a few WTF moments during the two hour special. Moments that made us scratch our heads and drown our befuddlement in the liquid courage that is Envolve Wine by Ben Flajnik. Naturally, we've spent the last 24 hours working through our feels, and are now gifting you with the Men Tell All's biggest logic fails!
1. Ashley and J.P. Pretend Their Gender Reveal Is a Surprise
Look, Chris Harrison. We know you were super excited about the prospect of performing an ultrasound during the Men Tell All, but Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum most definitely announced the gender of their baby several months ago. Not only did they give an exclusive interview to People Magazine about their love child (the real royal baby, to be honest), they tweeted about his gender all the way back in April. Which means Chris Harrison is literally months behind everyone else. Bless his heart.
2. Chris Harrison Announces Marcus and Marquel's Participation On Bachelor in Paradise… Many Weeks After ABC Does
The MTA special started off with an extended look at the criminally insane assault to our senses that is Bachelor in Paradise, and both Marcus Grodd and Marquel Martin were featured in the clip. Meaning, Bachelor Nation knew they'd be on BiP almost an hour before Harrison excitedly made the announcement during their exclusive interviews. It's like, Chris. Pull yourself together, buddy. We've been watching Bachelor in Paradise previews for weeks. The news that Marquel and Marcus are on the show no longer insights excited clapping.
3. Marcus Acts Like He Still Has Feelings For Andi… While Reportedly Engaged
Spoiler alert — Marcus got engaged to Lacy Faddoul while filming Bachelor in Paradise, and was engaged at the time he filmed the Men Tell All in mid-July. Yet for some inexplicable reason, this dude chose to ignore the fact that he'd found love in a hopeless place, and instead acted as though he still had feelings for Andi. You aren't fooling anyone, Marcus! We see right through you — just like we saw right through those tighty whities you wore while stripping for Andi.
4. Chris Bukowski Is Inexplicably Rejected by Chris Harrison
You know what was super duper sad? When Chris Bukowski eagerly popped out of his seat in the hopes of chatting to Host Harrison about that one time he showed up on The Bachelorette to win Andi's heart, and was totally shot down. Chris wouldn't let his namesake join him on stage, and poor Bukow-chicka-wowski just awkwardly stood there waving. Meanwhile, when some random fan-girl wanted to wander down to eye-sex Chris Soules, Harrison was all "the more the merrier!" All we know is that there is some major discrimination going on when it comes to people named Chris.
5. Andi Gets Ominous Mystery Letter, NO1CURR
The Bachelorette's Men Tell All ended on a slightly mysterious note, with Chris Harrison hand-delivering a letter to Andi from one of her final two gentleman callers. Chris and Andi both acted like this note contained the most serious information ever, but previews of next week's Bachelorette show Andi enjoying her final dates with both Josh MurrayandNick Viall. Which means that the note's contents clearly weren't a big enough deal to turn her off either lover. Sigh, let's be honest, it was probably just another one of Nick's fan-fiction novels.
6. Andrew Poole's Alleged Racist Remark Somehow Wasn't Caught On Mic
Considering that The Bachelorette bros are mic'd at all times, we're having a slightly hard time believing that ABC didn't have access to audio of Andrew Poole's alleged racist comment. And Josh Murray is right there with us. This finalist tweeted, "Everything that everyone says at Rose Ceremonies is recorded bc everyone has microphones on ...Ponder that & then come to ur own conclusions." Oh, we'll ponder that, Josh. Ponder is our middle name.
Have more Bachelorette Men Tell All logic fails to add to this list? Take it to the comments!