Tonight you'll tell all and I've been where you are
Didn't find no love, you're no reality star
Now you're gonna face Andi and you're looking for closure
Or a side bar in People for some extra exposure
Andi's a gem that's why she got her own season
If she sent you home I'm sure she's got a good reason
Perhaps you were douchey or she thought you were a tramp
Or maybe in Brett's case, you showed up with a lamp
CHORUS: No hard feelings
Things will work out in the end
I hope that y'all can still be friends
Bukowski showed up a reality TV whore
But Andi wouldn't even let his ass in the door.
And speaking of ass let's not forget about Anal
Yeah you gave us a laugh because your entrance was painful
Craig got super drunk and left that Bachelorette
I think it's about time he and Victoria met
There's one more guy that I was almost forgetting
Now that Tasos is free maybe he'll DJ the wedding
Up next is poor Bradley he got put through the ringer
But The Bachelorette's no place for an aspiring singer
Andi sent you packing cuz she had no other choice
We wish you best of luck when you audition for The Voice
Eric Hill was truly as good as he seems
I hope you all #LiveLikeEric and follow your dreams
JJ's just like me:
What's his job? We're not sure.
If he went to Stanford why's he a pantsapreneur?
Patrick fell in love but it was with the wrong And(y)
Andrew may be a racist but he's still man candy.
Andrew got a number and it made him look shady
The question now is was it from a guy or a lady?
Marquel could have been the Bachelor cuz he's so nice
So what the hell is doing on Bachelor in Paradise?
If you wanna know the truth I think it's really whack
That ABC don't want a Bachelor who is... good at mixing prints
Dylan tried to make Brian drink his pickle juice
But Andi's not into man ponies so she had to cut him loose
Cody's my favorite -- I met him on the beach
But he had too many muscles for this Georgia peach
Marcus was the hottest guy on the show
But he's way too quiet so he just had to go
When Andi sent home Chris it really made me wanna bawl
But he's perfect for Bachelor. Hope we'll see him this fall
Now we're down to two. Will it be Josh or Nick?
One's a sexy pro baller and one's kind of a dick
You both love Andi, you're both good looking guys
But it takes more than a pretty face of you wanna impress Hy
It's your last chance boys. Now I hope you don't fail
Cuz if you do our girl might just throw your ass into jail
One of you is not her love and you're about to get dropped
You're not the one for her and you should prob'ly just staaaaaahp