Lucy Aragon’s Bachelor “Surprise”: Real Talk to Juan Pablo, in Song! (VIDEO)
Credit: Courtesy Lucy Aragon    

The Bachelor

Lucy Aragon’s Bachelor “Surprise”: Real Talk to Juan Pablo, in Song! (VIDEO)

Last week, The Bachelor Season 18’s resident “free spirit,” Lucy Aragon, proved her whimsical magic by once again stealing our attention away from shiny objects (tears of rage). Lucy teased a “BIG BACHELOR SURPRISE” to come during “Women Tell All,” and we sure got it tonight!

While she was eliminated back on Episode 3 in Los Angeles, thus robbing the world of her fancies when
Juan Pablo Galavis took his favorite girlfriends on a jetplane, she’s still very much in our lives.

Lucy released her newest naked folk song (who knew it wasn’t just something from Forrest Gump?) on Twitter, called “Ess Okay.” The song title is, of course, in reference to what Juan Pabs would not stop telling Andi Dorfman before she eliminated herself back in St. Lucia after enduring 24 hours with El Bachelor. Check out the video and enjoy the shade she throws from all vantage points in the poignant lyrics below.

But keep in mind, haters, she’s just playing…

"Ess Okay" by Lucy Aragon

Juan Pablo, you kicked us off of your show,
but we're doin' so fine. We're drinkin' red wine all night.

Hey JP I got a song for you,
I hope you know it's for fun,
No hard feelings it's true.
You make bomb ass breakfast, you're an awesome dad.
But you messed with my girls and now you made me mad.

You may be the first "El Bachelor Latino"
But all of America thinks you're totally mean-o
Drew, Zack, and Robert, you're my boys and I love ya.
You shoulda been the Bachelor cuz we all wanna f—k ya.

I'm not sad we went our separate ways. Everything is gonna be okay.

Night one it was Lauren was a crying mess.
You kicked Kylie to the curb in her awful pink dress.
Sent Christy home cuz she was way too pretty.
Every man in America is like "damn that's a pity"

Sent my ass home cuz I was always in the nude
You ain't ready for this jelly cuz you're kind of a prude.
Danced better than you so you sent home Kat.
Cuz she was showing you up and you ain't down with that.
I'm not upset we went our separate ways. Everything is gonna be okay.

(ess okay)

Renee and Cassandra were so special to you
But you forgot Trey's name. Now they think you're a douche.
Sent Kelly packin' cuz she had funny things to say.
And you prob'ly didn't like it that her papi was gay.

Sent Chelsie on her way because she just wasn't ready.
Maybe the truth is that she dumped you for Eddie the Teddy.
You sent Victoria home, a straddler willing and able
Ay ay ay and she could prob'ly drink you under the table.

I'm not bummed we went our separate ways. Everything is gonna be okay.

Sharleen bailed on her own cuz she was too good for you
And that panda dodged a bullet cuz your kissing was EEW
Alli, Dani, Lauren didn't get a chance
And that's a goddamn shame cuz I've seen them with no pants.

Andi's a badass, said what we thought all along
No it's not okay. The way you treated us was wrong.
She left on her own and it was all for the best.
She prob'ly didn't wanna take the Florida BAR test.

I'm not sad we went our separate ways. Everything is gonna be okay.

Now we're down to two. Wish you the best of luck.
Cuz you're really pretty girls and you know he's tryin' to f—k.
I love you Clare and Nikki won't say anything bad.
But one of you's about to be really frickin' mad.

Clare you're so cute and lots of fun in the water
But I think he preferred Nikki because she met his daughter.
The words in this song are not meant to sound bitter
But they're funny as s—t. I think I'll post it on Twitter.

What do you think of Lucy’s song? Is it just the right tone for a diddy, or do you think she should’ve curbed the real talk? Share your thoughts below!

Julia Wayne is an Editor at Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!