Bachelorette Hot Mess of the Week: Dr. Larry Burchett
Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney    

The Bachelorette

Bachelorette Hot Mess of the Week: Dr. Larry Burchett

We love Larry Burchett even more than Desiree Hartsock loves wandering around the beaches of Malibu with her seagull friends, but he committed blasphemy during The Bachelorette's season premiere. For reasons that have yet to be determined by our psychiatric lab analysis of Larry's brain, boyfriend attempted to dip Desiree Hartsock and ripped her dress.

It's like, LARRY. You practiced that dip fifty times. You told us so yourself, while drunk and half-asleep on camera. There are no excuses — just like there are no excuses for that furry creature on your upper lip that pretends to be a mustache.

Poor Larry got off to a rough start when he ripped Desiree's gown, but he really cemented his fate after wandering into Bachelor Mansion and shouting "F*CK" at a bunch of innocent rose bushes. Yep, Larry dropped an F-bomb on national television, and then proceeded to spend the rest of the evening getting drunk and falling asleep at inopportune moments. Like during his one-on-one chat Des, who literally had to ask if he was awake — that's how comatose he was.

Poor Larry couldn't believe it when he was deflowered (curse you, dip. CURSE YOU FOREVER), but boyfriend's exit interview might have been the most tragic part of his hot and messy shame spiral. Mostly because he lapsed into silence due to the fact that something off camera caught his attention (someone successfully dipping? DAMN YOU ALL).

We'll miss you, Larry. But, much like Des, we wouldn't wanna kiss you. Because of your mustache. Please shave.