Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Billy Ray Cyrus has released a rebooted version of his 1992 hit single, “Achy Breaky Heart,” and words escape us to describe it. There’s hot lady aliens dressed in naught but duct tape and rhinestones. There’s some kind of rapping going on. There’s twerking.

Let’s start at the beginning, with Larry King. That’s right. Somehow Billy Ray wrangled the famous newsman into opening his music video with Larry reporting the breaking news a UFO has been spotted over Kentucky. Flash to Billy Ray and a young boy walking down a country road where naturally, they get abducted by aliens.

Aboard the spaceship, the young guy somehow turns into full-grown rapper Buck 22 while Billy Ray remains a 52-year-old musician. They then proceed to break it down with the crew who just happen to be all almost naked ladies. Go figure.

What follows is Buck 22 rapping about TMZ and Kentucky whiskey while Billy Ray strums along to his famous “Achy Breaky” chorus and gives a shoutout to his daughter. Miley herself doesn’t make an appearance unless she’s disguised as one of the twerking ETs, which, for the sake of decency, we really, really hope isn’t the case.

Watch the whole musical mishmash unfold before your eyes below. We apologize in advance.

Source: Buck 22 on YouTube

Elisabeth Kramer is an Assistant Editor at Wetpaint Entertainment and our resident Downton Abbey expert. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!