Credit: Piotr Sikora/ VH1

Each week, Mob Wives: New Blood star Renee Graziano will recap the previous night’s episode, from her point of view. Here, she digs into the drama of Season 4, Episode 10, “Life Sentences” — discussing everything from her loyalty to Eddie and Carla, to Big Ang’s baby plans, and preparing for her ex-husband Junior to be released from prison.
 

Where do I begin… Well, how about the beginning!

Edward being sentenced, getting his plea deal, and coming out within a couple of years really makes my heart smile. Regardless of what has transpired between me and Alicia, Edward will forever be in my heart (even if he is still mad)! Congratulations Edward!

As for my scene with Natalie… I find it to be as exhausting to watch as it was to partake in her and Alicia's drama. All I have to say on this is that those two do not understand my level of loyalty, because they obviously don't swim that deep. My loyalty is to Carla and Edward. We are talking 30 years versus 30 seconds. In the grand scheme of things, I've known these women  — Natalie and Alicia — about that long. And within that 30 seconds, they both did things to disrespect me.  

Alicia started accusing me of leaks, and she would yell and scream at me like I was a child because she didn't like that her husband was friends with Carla behind her back — which, mind you, I had no control over. She took her frustrations with Carla and Edward's friendship, as well as his lies, out on me. So, sorry.... Now I owe you nothing.

What I owe is to myself and to my morals, and that is to keep my mouth shut and not say anything at all about Edward or Carla. And on top of that, nothing wrong was going on — just pure friendship. Point blank. Period. The end. Alicia wanted me to tell her things about her husband, and when I didn't, she got mad and started accusing me of being a rat for the simple fact that I wouldn't be a rat on her husband. A little hypocritical don't you think?

Well, like I say, what doesn't come out in the wash, comes out in the rinse! In 44 years and four seasons, I have never done nor been accused of anything like that and the truth will come out eventually. And as for Natalie getting involved with me and Alicia… mind your business b—h!


Credit: VH1

Drita rapping again is great! She really loved doing that back in the day! It's so funny that "she's in love and a softy" and can't write — even though she can, she just doesn't know it right now!  "A happy d—k on a rainbow." She's so funny. I'm happy for her that she has her family back together and she is following her rap dreams! I hope and pray she does amazing and that she's not too old to be successful in the rap game. I have faith in her!

As for Drita constantly trying to get us together, I respect her for it but I'm just over it. In this episode, I just feel like I don't need negativity in my life on top of all the negativity I already have in my life with Junior. These girls don't understand my history with this man or what I was going through at the time. One letter is “I love you”, the next one is “I will find you” and threatening me. It's scary s—t, and playing with girls I really don't like at the moment isn't really what I want to do. So while they are all planning a lunch, I'm planning how to save my life! Um, you weigh the two!

As far as my lawyer visit, all I want is to be alerted as to when Junior's coming out and how far away from me he will be. Nothing more, nothing less. No court orders, nothing. Just info!

Ang and I getting mani and pedis happened to be one of my favorite scenes of the episode. Ang finally gets it. She sees how Natalie is continuously trying to stir the pot and won’t let sleeping dogs lie. Even after I tried to apologize again. Go back over that bridge… or jump off it! I'm not sitting down — or standing, for that matter — for ANYONE playing games with me ANYMORE.

Regarding Ang and her babies and her weddings, I couldn't be happier for her. It's amazing how she is growing her family. She is the best grandmother on earth to baby Sal and will be the best to her new grandkids!  It's amazing! It seems like AJ has some old school values, as well, with the getting down on one knee thing. Another example of how great Ang raised her kids. Go AJ!

Credit: VH1

OK, so now the Le Cirque lunch! I actually like Natalie's dress and all the girls look beautiful.  As far as me not showing up, like I said, I was busy with my own life drama and I don't owe Alicia and Natalie anything. To Drita and Ang: Sorry, and you both should understand my issues with Junior! I would normally never do that and I will make it up to you with a new lunch at Daniel!

About lunch with Drita... I appreciate her trying to get us all together, but I'm really feeling like I wish she would stop trying. But based on our history — and my respect for that history — I will try one more time for her and Ang, but that's it! One more time.

Now, on to Alicia talking to Natalie at her modeling shoot (by the way, Natalie looked sexy, I can't deny). Regardless of our differences, I feel horrible for what Alicia is going through. No woman or mother should have to feel the anguish of possibly leaving their children. And no woman should be guilty for trusting their husband. It's what they're supposed to do. And little does she know — regardless of ANY issues we have — if Alicia ever did go away, I would be the first person she could call for any type of support or help she may need. I would be the first person to write her letters and visit! That's what I do. That's my loyalty in times of need.

At Drita's house, everyone was waiting for me. It's interesting to see what everyone says while I'm not there. But guess what? I'm showing up the same way I did for the confrontation between myself and Natalie — as well as the one between Alicia and me at the old homestead. I don't back down, but I will not sit and tolerate any more drama. Renee has had enough. So if this is a continuation of my lunch with Natalie, I am getting up and leaving because this s—t and their drama is not worth my time any longer. So stay tuned and let's see what happens...

Don’t forget: All of my fab looks and awesome jewelry can be found at the Mob Candy Store — bathing suits coming this spring!

And if you want to cook — and eat — like the Mob Wives, my sisters and I have a cookbook out now called How To Use a Meat Cleaver. Find it in stores now!

Mob Wives: New Blood airs on Thursday nights at 10 p.m. ET on VH1.