Modern Family

Jealousy was in the air this week on Modern Family, and you know what that means...even more laughs than usual! Check out the best quotes from Season 3, Episode 14 “Me? Jealous?” And watch out, Jonas Brothers stans — all three of your men are taken by Haley Dunphy (Sarah Hyland)!

10. Phil (Ty Burrell) gushes about Tad: “He got divorced and his whole life opened up. Guy’s living the dream.”
Dream on, Phil.

9. Phil boasts about Haley: “We couldn’t be prouder.”
Claire (Julie Bowen): “We could. A little bit.”
Poor Phil couldn’t be worser at English.

8. Luke (Nolan Gould) threatens Haley and Alex (Ariel Winter): “I will burn this house down.”
Beware the nerdy loner brother who likes dressing up (Halloween, anyone?)...

7. Phil attempts to compliment Claire: “The other night when you put on makeup I was like, ‘There she is.’”
Husband fail!

6. Claire drops jaw at Tad’s kiss: “Did you see that?”
Phil: “A hand shake that almost became a hug?”
It’s the little things in life...

5. Phil botches his interview: “You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but you cannot make her laugh. I wanna go back. You can kiss my wife, but only I can take her to bed and make her laugh. I wanna go back. Only I can take my wife to bed, comma, and make her laugh.”
He’ll get it right one of these days! 

4. Phil talks up Costa Rica: “It’s a progressive culture. Most of them travel by zip-line.”
Zip-lines are the new hipster bicycle. 

3. Alex complains about Haley throwing away her drawing: “She tossed it in the garbage. Right after she wrote ‘Mrs. Haley Jonas Brothers’ on it like thirty times.”
Don’t worry, Haley. We were Mrs. Wetpaint Timberlake for years. 

2. Phil has a moment with Claire: “You can fake anything you want with me, but not your laugh. I’d like to go back.”
No givesies no backsies! 
  
1. Luke yells at his sisters: “Be normaler.”
Clearly, Luke takes after his father.

Catch an all-new Modern Family on Wednesday, February 15 at 9pm ET/PT on ABC.