Credit: Michael Desmond/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney Photo: Claire and Haley Stay Home Sick in Modern Family Season 2, Episode 7: “Chirp”

Haley Dunphy (Sarah Hyland) is a well-meaning ditz who really knows how to keep us laughing. Here are the eldest Dunphy child’s best quotes from Season 2 of Modern Family!

10. Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.

They probably don’t have friends either. (Episode 23, “See You Next Fall”)

9. Haley: I haven't been single since I was nine.

We’re sure that warms your mother’s heart! (Episode 14, “Bixby’s Back”)

8. Haley: They called a family meeting when they switched to one percent milk.

For some, that’s a major life choice. (Episode 13, “Caught in the Act)

7. Claire: You're grounded for four weeks!
Haley: Why don't you just double it and make it 10?
Alex: Do you not see how much you need to study?!?

Alex may have a point ... (Episode 3, “Earthquake”)

6. Haley [to Dylan]: It's just a cold silly, you don't have to conceive of a world without me!

We wouldn’t dare! (Episode 7, “Chirp”)

5. Haley: Doing a speech is easy. All you do is speak a song, like “Don't Stop Believing" or "Get This Party Started."
Alex: That's meaningless.
Haley: Of course. It's graduation, the time when we celebrate not having to think.

Hayley’s favorite time of year. (Episode 23, “See You Next Fall”)

4. Dylan: [about his shoes] I think I left them at your uncle's house.
Haley: Oh, my God! This is a disaster!
Dylan: Maybe they'll think it's theirs.
Haley: They're gay, they know what shoes they own!

We guarantee they don’t own any smelly Converse sneakers either. (Episode 18, “Boys’ Night”)

3. Haley: There are two kind of people: Popular girls, and girls like you. And you have been given a rare opportunity to go from the latter to the former.
Alex: The former to the latter.
Haley: Oh, my God, you're such a geek! Now, do you want to be smart, or do you want to popular?

It’s like Sophie’s Choice of your teenage years. (Episode 4, “Strangers on a Treadmill”)

2. Alex: Dad, you just missed a stop sign.
Phil: Then we'll stop twice on the way back.
Haley: Good, that'll give us time to find the hubcap we lost passing the temple parking lot.

Who says Haley isn’t resourceful? (Episode 8, “Manny Get Your Gun”)

1. Alex: Last week she wore my sweatshirt.
Haley: I was doing it a favor. It was the first time the top half got any exercise.

Touché, Alex. Touché. (Episode 17, “Two Monkeys and a Panda)