Relive all the hilarity in Modern Family Season 3, Episode 4: "Door to Door" with our recap!

Stop! In the Name of Life

Credit: ABC Photo: Claire Campaigns for a Stop Sign in Season 3, Episode 4: ''Door to Door'' (3.4)

After nearly plowing down a power-walking Phil with her SUV, Claire realizes that gossiping while driving is a surefire (and deadly!) recipe for flattening one's husband.

But because Claire is Claire, she passionately takes up the crusade to have a new stop sign installed. Only problem, though: She needs 50 signatures on her petition, but has zero help from her fam.  

See, when Claire's focused on one of her impassioned causes du jour — and isn't micro-managing everyone else with maniacal, Stasi-like precision — her family's free to kick back and relax. Which, in Phil and Luke's case, translates into a bumbling attempt at basketball YouTube glory (one can guess at how well that turns out).

Then Claire returns home with only a handful of signatures and a pair of sprinkler-soaked shoes to her loafing family. Cue the world's biggest guilt trip (complete with comparisons to Norma Rae and Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side!).

When Claire finally makes it to the meeting, Tobias Fumke the town manager is more concerned about his sadster birthday party (all he wanted was ice cream cake!) than Claire's stop sign. Just as the issue's about to be tossed aside, her fam bursts through the door with the rest of the required John Hancocks — and Phil's well-meaning, mostly impressive video presentation, "Stop! In the Name of Life".

Aww, and who said the Blind Side lady was the only mom whose family had her back? Oh wait, that was Claire ...

Death of a Salesman

Credit: Peter Stone and Michael Desmond/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney Photo: Jay Gives Manny a Pep Talk in Season 3, Episode 4: “Door to Door”

In order to raise funds for a school trip to see Les Miz, Manny is forced to sell Christmas wrapping paper (which, for a kid who undoubtedly goes to one helluva swish school, kind of seems ... adorably dated, no?).

But for all of his dimply charms, though, Manny's sales techniques make Willy Loman look like salesman of the year. Predictably, Jay tries to make Manny rise to the challenge of door-to-door glory; but even his salesman prowess is no match for those wrapping paper-hating neighbors.

Sensing the little guy's growing sense of deflation, Jay ultimately chokes and ponies up the cash for all of his stepson's goods — which, of course, is exactly what Manny wanted all along. (Note to self: never trust an adorable kid with puppy-dog eyes and a heaping pile full of unsold fundraiser junk).

Maid to Order

Credit: Peter Stone and Michael Desmond/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney Photo: Mitchell Admires His Work in Season 3, Episode 4: “Door to Door”

Cameron may be a domestic goddess about some things; but he's a disaster at cleaning up after his cooking adventures and keeping phone messages in order.

See, the adoption agency calls to re-schedule the family's at-home visit, and Mitchell's unable to tell whether the note that Cam jotted down on the latest Esquire is the number "5" or a tendril of Jennifer Aniston's lovely locks ("Oh, I hope Jen's finally found love" is Cam's hilariously sincere response).

Then Mitchell returns home from work to find the house is still in a state of post-crepe-making disarray.

Cameron explains that he was busy helping Gloria track down her frenemy, Stella the dog (who bolted, all because Gloria pigheadedly ignored Jay's warnings and left the damn gate open).

And while pooch hunting allowed Cam to bust out his Stanley Kowalski impression (side note: Cam's "Steeeeeellaaaaaa" definitely lacked some of the machismo of Marlon Brando's original), Mitchell was left royally peeved.

But after a house-destroying freak-out on Mitchell's part (complete with upturned cushions and a whipped-cream hat for Lily), Cam finally confesses: He always leaves the house messy because he knows his neat-freak hubby will clean it up.

Busted! — but not quite as busted as both of the boys end up when the adoption agency drops by their formerly pristine palace for that little at-home inspection. Whoops!

Looks like it was a "5" and not Jen's hair after all.


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