Credit: Peter "Hopper" Stone/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney Photo: Mitchell and Cam at the Wedding on Modern Family Season 3, Episode 13

How a normal family spends their day: Sitting in front of the TV, binge eating pizza and complaining about how boring the Golden Globes were. How a Modern Family family spends their day: Talking dogs out of suicide, teaching babies swear words, and going viral. Yep, it’s just a typical week for America’s favorite whack pack crew, and we’re here to give you the breakdown of Season 3, Episode 13: “Little Bo Bleep!"

Debate Date!

Remember Claire’s (Julie Bowen) arch rival and town council nemesis, Duane Baily (David Cross)? Of course you do, his facial hair is unforgettable. The time has come for Claire to once again take a stand against Duane’s tyranny, this time with a public debate to defend her honor after a newspaper calls her “angry and unlikable.”

Claire is distraught that people think she’s crazy, so Phil (Ty Burrell) comes up with a way to save her public image. First up? Nix the eye-rolling, lip-pursing, face-touching, scolding finger, sarcasm, stuttering, and ugly face. And above all else: Don’t. Go. Viral.

Doggie-cide

As we all know, Jay (Ed O'Neill) is extremely attached to his French Bulldog/surrogate child, Stella –– aka, Gloria’s (Sofia Vergara) biggest frenemy. But recently, Stella’s been acting strange (read: Suicidal). She’s taken to hurling herself into the swimming pool, and why not? Rumor has it all dogs go to heaven.

Jay decides to bring Stella to Claire’s debate, where Duane (two-time Pugly winner, by the way), tells him that Stella is most definitely trying to kill herself. Meanwhile, Claire’s busy getting her strong, independent woman on, but she’s thrown for a loop when Duane brings up Phil’s humiliating stint as “Clive” on Valentine’s day. Luckily, Phil steps up to the plate and saves the day –– by announcing how much he enjoys making love to Claire.

You guessed it, viral videos up the wazoo, complete with auto-tune.

F-Bomb Flower Girl

There comes a time in every little girl’s life to walk down the aisle and say “I do”...to being a flower girl. Cam (Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) are thrilled when their friends ask Lily to be the flower girl at their wedding, and naturally Cam sees it as an opportunity to dress her like the princess he (er, she) is. Unfortunately, Mitch and Cam are horrified that Lily’s dress is light-up and “piling” (Tim Gunn does not approve).

To top it off, Lily has taken to cursing, much to Cam’s amusement. After all, there’s nothing more adorable than a toddler dropping an F-bomb! (Just don’t tell the PTC and the “No Cussing Club.”)

The Wedding

The day starts off with a bang when Gloria saves Stella’s life (yep, another pool-side suicide attempt), and then gets even more amazing when Lily makes her debut as a lite-brite flower girl.

Of course she drops an F-bomb during the ceremony, but no worries everyone thinks it’s hilarious. Well, everyone except for the fluorescent bride. Sigh, kids these days and their colorful language!

Oh, and if you’re concerned about Stella’s RIP status, don’t be. It turns out she wasn’t trying to kill herself after all –– she just wanted a “squeaky wiener” toy that was caught in the pool filter!

Catch the next new episode of Modern Family on Wednesday, February 1 at 9 pm ET/PT on ABC.

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