Credit: Peter Stone/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney Photo: Haley and Alex in Season 3, Episode 8: “After the Fire”

Bust out your clown shoes, because Fisbo’s back and better than ever! Last night’s episode of Modern Family was even more hi-larious than usual — possibly because Phil unleashed his inner masseuse all over Jay’s unsuspecting back.

Check out the top 10 zingers from the episode!

10. Alex beats Haley at her own game: “You have your fans, I have mine. Someday, your fans are going to work for my fans.”

Who run the world? Nerds.

9. Cam has a fashion crisis: “It’s a somber occasion and all my tops are too joyful.”

Paisley sleeves scream jubilee.

8. Claire: “I’m the one that’s turning Gloria into mom, which is really disturbing because we’re the same age.”
Jay: “You’re older.”

Like a fine wine, MILFs get better with age.

7. Phil massages Jay: “OK ... now just disrobe and place the towel over your buttocks.”

Just a typical father-son relationship.

6. Haley: “Wow you’re really wedged in there. Want us to help guide you out?”
Cam: “That question ... it was like a hate crime.”

Almost one trucker every year experiences a hate crime.

5. Claire: “What the hell is that?”
Phil: “An Alpaca. I got the last one!”

Some kids go to the fair and buy goldfish. Phil buys fam animals.

4. Phil admits the truth: “OK, fine, I’m Wonder Woman.”

Which makes Claire Superman?

3. Phil preps Jay for a deep-tissue rub-down: “Take a deep breath and let me transport you to a land I call Relaxistan.”

It’s a one-way ticket, obviously.

2. Cam self-diagnoses: “I sleep clown.”

Much more frightening than sleep-walking.

1. Phil traumatizes Jay: “I know you were reluctant to get that massage, but I think we can both agree it had a happy ending.”

We feel anything but happy about this situation.


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