My husband and I have hemmed and hawed over whether to go for a third baby. One is a lot. Two is a handful. And three is, quite simply, where the insanity begins (or so I hear). While I would love to go for another one, there are factors that hold me back. Quite frankly, there are certain things that I won’t ever miss about having a newborn. Below, I share ten of them!
1. Sleep deprivation. “Where’s the baby? Where’s the baby? Where’s the baby?” If you haven’t woken up in a cold sweat wondering where your newborn is, you’re in the minority. Usually, they’re asleep on your chest below you, but you still have no idea where (or possibly) who you are.
2. The baby blues. My heart goes out to those moms who experience the awful effects of postpartum depression, and while I was lucky to not suffer from PPD, I did experience the baby blues as many mothers do. How can anyone blame us? We’re sleep deprived, have milky boobs, and still look like we’re pregnant even though we’re holding the new little guy or gal. I sure won’t miss that.
3. The “Honey, are you ready yet?” look from the husband. We've all been there. They've been waiting for that six-week doctor’s appointment like a kid on Christmas and, meanwhile, you’re hoping the doctor will somehow find something wrong with your lady parts and that will buy you a few more weeks (months!). Nope, won’t miss that!
4. The vomit. Need I say more? It stinks. The baby stinks. You stink. Everything around you starts to smell like a fraternity house after a long weekend. I remember going on a day of errands, only to realize when I got back that I had some in my hair.
5. The anxiety. Sure, it’s the worst with the first one, but let’s face it, itty bitty babies can be anxiety-provoking no matter how many kids you have. I won’t miss wondering what it is that makes that alien looking thing tick.
6. The lack of a social calendar. Yes, yes, we all know babies are worth it, but it can be hard turning down this or that event because you’re tired, the baby is sick, and/or all of the above.
7. The laundry. For someone so tiny, it’s hard to believe there could be that much laundry! If you've forgotten the reason why, see #4. Oh, and don’t forget to get the dye-free kind on your 100th trip to Target this week!
8. The dirty house. We've all heard the golden rule — you sleep when the baby sleeps. If you adhere to this rule, which I tended to do, your house looks like something from Hoarders.
9. The breastfeeding. There, I said it! Every time I admit it I feel like my house is going to get egged by the folks (read: nursing Nazis) at La Leche. Listen, I know it’s like gold for your child’s innards, and I did do it for quite a while with both my kids, but that doesn't mean I liked it. To each her own!
10. The guilt. Much of it stemming from #9, I felt the mommy guilt nearly every second of every day when my babies were little. If I thought about wanting to stop nursing, I felt like a horrible mom. If I didn't bathe my child the proper amount of times per week, I felt like a horrible mom. If I had the baby blues, I felt like a horrible mom. “What’s wrong with me?” would flash through my head thousands of times a day. It didn't sink in until much later that I was — gasp! — normal!
Now it's your turn: What will you NOT miss about having a newborn?