It’s hard not to cringe when you hear someone say, “I’m just a mom” in response to the question, “So, what do you do?” Of course, there should be no “just” in this reply, as we are the feeders, holders, kissers, huggers, and caretakers, 24/7, and that’s no joke. However, there are some things that happen when we become mothers that really just don’t need to happen. Here is our guide for “How Not To Become That Mom.”

1. Step away from the “mom jeans.” You know the ones. Jessica Simpson tried to make them cool a while ago, but they’re not cool under any circumstance. If your jeans come up to your boobies, you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

2. Remember your husband? Yeah, he’s the one you married ten years ago or so and vowed you’d love him ‘til death do you part and all that? Well, he’s feeling a little neglected. Don’t be the mom who gets so caught up in her kids’ activities, bathroom habits, schoolwork, friends, food, etc., that your husband can’t remember the last time you even looked his way.

3. Don’t be the passive-aggressive mom. “Oh, you buy non-organic fruit? How interesting! Well, that must work for you and your family.” We’re on to you, ladies. We know what you’re really saying to us. It’s called reading between the P/A lines.

4. As tempting as it is, don’t be the mom who runs up to your kid on the playground, wearing curlers in your hair and your pajamas, waving your arms and yelling, “You forgot your lunch!!!” Ditch the curlers and get dressed. Maybe even brush your teeth. Your child will thank you.

5. Don’t answer everything in the collective voice. “Oh, we don’t eat anything with gluten, thank you very much.” “We don’t pinch each other, now do we?” “We eat with our napkins in our laps.” This is especially true if you’re being asked a question by a fellow adult. Don’t. Just don’t.

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