Shameless plug warning: I have my own mommy blog, and it’s called LoveButBlog. I named it that because my friends would always start their sentences with, “I love my kids, but…” It was as if we all thought God would strike us down on the spot then and there for saying something negative about our offspring out loud without prefacing it with the whole “I love my kids” part. The truth is, if we don’t vent here and there about the inevitable tough times, we’re going to pop like a bottle of champagne on New Year’s Eve (only without the benefits of drinking the bubbly afterwards).
I’ll start with one of mine. I love my kids, but sometimes, when I cruise the online halls (and walls!) of Facebook, I’ll see things that my single friends post and feel the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head. “Oh, another trip to Europe?” I’ll think smugly. “Last minute trip to Sonoma, huh? Must be nice!” I’ll say to myself, tasting the bile rise up in the back of my throat. “Some of us have responsibilities,” I’ll think bitterly. “Like keeping other human beings alive.”
As with all things, I fully realize that the grass may only seem greener on the other side. But, damn, the grass looks nice and green along the coast in France! As I feel the pang of jealousy within me, I try to look at my boys and focus on how lucky I am. At that moment, I’ll either hit the jackpot and catch a loving smile and a sweet “I love you,” or I’ll be met with a “Hey, Mom, I just bum burped. Do you smell it?” Either way, though, I know deep down that I’m blessed.
I have to remind myself that, while I don’t know this to be true of all SINKS (single income no kids) or DINKS (dual income no kids), some of my single and/or childless friends would trade places with me in a heartbeat. And who am I to judge the way they live their lives? If anything, I have to realize that they can and should be doing these last minute jaunts and enjoying wild parties because, if they do meet their mate, marry, and have kids, those days will be in their rearview mirrors, too. And, while they’ll know they lived their single lives to the fullest, they’ll also be moving on to a wonderful life of opening Santa’s presents, trick or treating, and youth baseball games.
So while a trip overseas might not be doable for me right now and spontaneity is mostly a thing of the past, I try to tamp down those feelings of envy and hold on firmly to the present moment (and my boys, of course). Life has dealt me a pretty great hand, and I plan on playing it (even if I do have to wear the occasional poker face).