Everyone wants that kind of sex that makes your toes curl and your hands hot. The kind of sex that feels like you're high on Cloud 9 while you sink deeper into your spouse's arms. This kind of sex is totally attainable, but if you haven't experienced the euphoria just yet, you're missing one very big detail: the "Big O."
Sex and relationship therapist Kimberly Sharky has several amazing tips for achieving this O-so-important stage in your lovemaking, and Dr. Lauren Streicher, associate professor of gynecology at Northwestern University’s medical school, even chimes in with a few gems of her own. The advice from these ladies could really change your relationship and your life, because as we all know, a happy a happy wife, a happy life.
Refinery 29 brought these ladies together to shell out six impressive pointers for women to use between the sheets and here are a few teasers:
1. “Be A Little Selfish”
As Sharky points out, this is a tough one for women, as we are often the givers. This makes it harder for us to accept pleasure. Sharky recommends trying a blindfold during sex. “If you take away your sense of sight, it gives you permission to pay more attention to what’s going on inside your body,” she says. This sounds like it could totally be used in a fun blindfolded game of hide and seek, too!
2. “Breathe In, Breathe Out”
With so many things on our overcrowded plates, our minds often wander during sex. As Sharky points out, it’s physically impossible to have an incredible orgasm when our minds are on our to-do lists. Breathing will help with focus. “This gives your mind something to do, and it also calms your nervous system enough to allow for relaxation, which is crucial for an orgasm,” she says.
3. “Go Tantric”
It’s not just for Sting, yo! The key, according to Sharky, is not to make the orgasm the focus of your sexual activity but, instead, to slow down and appreciate the foreplay. The payoff? Rolling orgasms! Embrace all your senses and really focus on your partner, incorporating the entire body. Sharky says “giving yourself enough time can really increase the power of orgasm.”