Most Eligible Dallas

Usually Miss Courtney Kerr takes the crazy cake with her snarks on Most Eligible Dallas, but this week Drew was our shining Texas star! Cowboy dropped the b-bomb, the c-bomb, the other c-bomb and the f-bomb! Clearly he’s confusing MED with Bad Girls Club –– not that we’re complaining.

10. Drew compares his alcoholism to Matt’s raging heterosexuality: “It’d be like me going up to you like, ‘Hey Matt, um, you wanna suck a c*ck?’”
Because Matt’s addicted to giving men BJs?

9. Courtney goes on a date: “I don’t care what happens as long as I get mac 'n’ cheese on the table.”
We feel that, girl.

8. Tara treats her dog to a pearl necklace: “Shaniqua can have whatever jewelry she wants. This is her Pretty Woman moment, and I kinda think that makes me Richard Gere.”
So... Shaniqua the poodle is a prostitute and Tara is her client?

7. Courtney: “I think that if Matt’s passion for girls translates into his charity, it’ll be really successful.”
Hopefully these charities like hanging and banging.

6. Drew: “Tonight Daylon decides to invite Tara, Courtney and I over for dinner. So basically two f*gs and their hags.”
And that’s just the beginning of Drew’s digs at Courtney.

5. Glenn marvels at his tan: “Did I go from Caucasian to Hispanic to Black?”
All the colors of the politically incorrect rainbow!

4. Tara: “Nobody’s ever called me the, you know... C-U Next Tuesday.”
Well, maybe not to your face...

3. Courtney pays Drew a huge compliment: “Drew is like that pair of shoes that you love so much because when they’re good they look so good, but they give you the worst blisters ever.”
Courtney must have rocked the SATs with analogy skills like that.

2. Drew real talks with Matt: “Damn that motherf*cker’s got beautiful eyes!”
First the ladies, then the babies, now the gays. Everyone wants in on that action.

1. Drew calls out Courtney: “Why are you a two-faced c*nt?”
Is this a rhetorical question?