Happy Halloween, Nashville-style! In Season 1, Episode 4, “We Live in Two Different Worlds,” we didn’t get to see anybody dressed up in a costume per se, but Juliette (Hayden Panettiere) is awfully close to wearing an orange jumpsuit — so that sorta counts, right?

So Many Affairs and Some of Them Are Real!

The episode begins exactly the way we want every episode to begin: With Deacon (Charles Esten) and Rayna (Connie Britton) in bed, naked. Okay, so this is only in Rayna’s subconscious, until Teddy (Eric Close) has to go and snap her out of that magical, magical dream. Rayna is stressed about it, but she shouldn’t feel badly, since we imagine ourselves in bed with Deacon all the time. (It’s no big deal, Rayna!)

Juliette also gets a rather abrupt wake-up call that morning, with cops informing her that the video of her shoplifting nail polish has been seen by roughly everyone and their grandmother. Juliette’s response is to slam the door in the cops’ faces and tell them to get a real job, which cops love to hear. And while she’s at it, Juliette would love to show her mom the door, too.

Rayna is back to living in the conscious world (which is always a good plan) as her sister Tandy mentions that Teddy is basically toast in this election. (Mmm... toast.) So Rayna agrees to sing at Teddy’s next country club fundraiser, even though she’d rather sing on Mars. (To paraphrase Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall: “Get your ass to Mars... to hear some toe-tappin’ country tunes!”)

Rayna is convinced that Deacon won’t be willing to perform at the fundraiser with her, until she learns that her manager has already sweet-talked him into it. Speaking of Deacon, we see him meet with his AA sponsor, who turns out to be Coleman (Robert Wisdom), Teddy’s mayoral opponent. But wait — aren’t you usually supposed to vote for the candidate you’d like to grab a beer with, not the one who’s gonna make you go sober?

Rayna meets with the country club folks, including Peggy (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), who is clearly on Team Teddy. (So many names ending in “y” on this show!) Rayna thinks Peggy still has the hots for Teddy, but Teddy reminds her that was 15 years ago. News flash, Teddy: We had a crush on Mark-Paul Gosselaar from Saved by the Bell 15 years ago, and guess what? We still totally do. (Do not get us started about how much we still hate Kelly Kapowski.)

Time to Schedule a Second Interview to Apologize For the First Interview

Juliette, who gets the boot from the CMAs thanks to her sticky fingers, reluctantly agrees to chit-chat with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. Juliette promises her publicist that she’ll be “honest,” but she says it the way that a Shakespearean villain would say it, which isn’t a good sign. (We’re just glad Juliette didn’t put hemlock in anyone’s ear this week.)

Sure enough, Juliette clearly has no intention of telling the truth during the interview. Instead, she tells Robin that she put the nail polish in her purse so that it wouldn’t fall through the basket. Yep, she actually thought that excuse was gonna work. Then, Robin brings up her mom’s drug charge, and Juliette storms out of the interview. Not exactly what Juliette’s publicist had in mind.

It’s now time to raise some money for Teddy’s campaign, but Deacon is MIA. He finally saunters in, just in time for Lamar (Powers Boothe) to mock his too-casual attire. Note to Lamar: You should probably wait until after someone does you a big favor before you piss them off. 

So Deacon fires back at Lamar that he can’t control him, unlike someone he knows. Teddy gets offended and makes cracks about Deacon’s drinking, and before you know it, everyone’s screaming at everyone. What happened to campaigning just being about kissing babies and cutting ribbons with giant ceremonial scissors? (Translation: Get your fake smiles ready, everyone!)

After the eye-dagger-filled show, Rayna gives Deacon hell for starting a fight with Teddy, which wasn’t really Deacon’s fault, but whatever. Then, Teddy comes in and is upset that Deacon always makes things difficult for them, so Rayna promises that she’ll fire Deacon. And it makes sense that Rayna should make sacrifices, since Teddy is such a model husband, right? Right?

Not so fast. In the night’s most shocking scene, it appears that Peggy does have the hots for Teddy. The two meet in her car, and it’s safe to say that no clandestine conversation in a parked car has ever been pleasant. This one is no exception, as Peggy and Teddy have been doing something they’ve never told anyone about — and it could ruin Teddy’s campaign and both of their families. (“This Teddy is really a stand-up guy,” is what no viewer is thinking right now.)

Finally, Juliette’s manager tries to say “so long,” now that she’s lost her tour, but she tells him she’ll finally be a team player. He then tells her to call a friend, but she doesn’t appear familiar with that term. So she calls the next best thing: A hot guy with just the right amount of facial hair. In this case, Deacon, who’s also looking to drown his sorrows. Sounds like a recipe for trouble. And speaking of recipes, we kinda want to make that pink macaroni Juliette’s mom whipped up. Don’t judge.

Yogurt: A Good Source of Calcium and Small Talk

Scarlett (Clare Bowen) is worried about whether or not she and Gunnar (Sam Palladio) will get a publishing deal based on the demos they recorded with Watty White last  week. Luckily, she doesn’t have to worry for long, as Gunnar busts in to share the good news — right as Avery (Jonathan Jackson) and Scarlett are making out. Insert another standard shot of Avery grimacing here.

Gunnar and Scarlett get a tour of the publishing place where they’ll be writing songs, and Gunnar swipes a yogurt from the fridge — because when you’re trying to make a good impression, it’s always a good idea to eat someone’s food without asking. But this leads to a meet-cute with Hailey, the hottie assistant. Is there anything yogurt can’t do?

Scarlett, Avery, and Gunnar go out for dinner that night with the publisher and Hailey, as Scarlett, for some reason, gets a plus-one to a business dinner. Scarlett explains her writing process — even though she’s been a writer for, oh, about 15 minutes —and then tries to toot Avery’s horn (no, not in a dirty way, you perv!). But Avery just gets ticked off, in part because Avery doesn’t actually have a setting besides “ticked off.”

Dinner apparently went well for at least one of the guys at the table, as Gunnar and Hailey wake up in bed the next morning — and this is finally a naked-in-bed scene that is not a dream. Hailey tells Avery that this is a one-time thing, so Gunnar accuses her of being a guy — which is a weird thing to say to the girl you just slept with. And then Scarlett just happens to be in her car outside as Gunnar and Hailey say goodbye to each other with a “hug of shame.” Nice.

Scarlett meets with Deacon to discuss her issues with Avery, and Deacon tells her, “Avery sucks” — or at least, that’s what he wants to tell her. Scarlett talks it out with Avery and he promises to be more supportive. (If you say so, Avery.) Meanwhile, Gunnar has labeled all of Hailey’s yogurts with a post-it note that has her name on it. Uh, does this mean we can write our name on a post-it and stick it to Gunnar? Because we are totally calling dibs on that cutie.

In other words, if you thought this show had been crazy before, things definitely reached even crazier heights this week, particularly with Teddy’s apparent affair with Peggy. We also love how we’re really connecting with Juliette, and we’re wondering if the rising star will now be forced into that tour with Rayna. 

In closing, we hope you all had a great Halloween! We also hope that no one gave out yogurt to trick-or-treaters this year. (Gunnar might like it. Kids? Not so much.)

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