Credit: ABC

We’d be lying if we said we weren’t nursing a bit of an emotional hangover after the sh*tshow that just got sick all over us on Nashville Season 1, Episode 19 “Why Don’t You Love Me.” But though we now need a strong black coffee and a cold shower, there were some real strides made on the episode.

Credit: ABC

Juliette’s (Hayden Panettiere) sudden onset drinking problem was amusing at first, but gross when it resulted in something she’ll regret far more than the headache that comes with it. Meanwhile, we’re pretty sure that Rayna’s (Connie Britton) waffling ways gave us whiplash. Let’s all take a collective aspirin and get down to the bottom of what just happened:

Juliette: Fool Me Once, Shame On Me
Jules doesn’t make the best decisions in Music City, but that doesn’t mean we blame her for getting lost in Dante’s (Jay Hernandez) dimples. Unfortunately, what could’ve been a perfectly respectable bender turns into her lecturing Jolene (Sylvia Jefferies) about the meaning of mimosas, mailing random judges bobbleheads of herself in order to beat Rayna for a Country Music Award, and making out with Avery (Jonathan Jackson) after she fires Deacon and Aves saves her ass. Talk about a rough night. Oh yeah, did we mention that it ends with Dante calling her to blackmail her over a sex tape? Oops.

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Rayna and Deacon: Fool Me Twice, Shame On You
These two crazy kids — they’re just like us! They can’t get their sh*t together long enough to realize that 1) they love each other, and 2) everyone they know is THE WORST and will probably try to bring them down.

They wake up from sexing and are all happy and lovey, with Rayna getting a CMA award nom before breakfast. She and Deax both have a “Summer Lovin” moment, spilling the dirty deets to their nearest and dearest, with Tandy telling Rayna to go for it and Coleman being a total freaking downer (look, dude, you’ve already used the addiction analogy. Get over it). They steal kisses, say the L word, and it’s all great — until Rayna freaks out when Teddy says ominously, “Just honor the agreement we made the day our daughter was born, and if you can’t do that, break things off with him right now.” Yeah, we’re pretty sure we can guess where that goes.

Oh yeah, and Deacon's breakup with Stacey? Amateur hour. AND to top it all off, Old Yeller Jr. ends up running off with her. SADS.

Credit: ABC

But the Laborador isn’t the only one trying to get away — Rayna gets distant and Deacon jumps in her limo and starts making out with her. All’s well that ends with free miniature water bottles (at least, that’s what we have tattooed on our forearms). Back in bed (where they belong), Deax is all, “I wish we would’ve done this years ago. Who knows, maybe we would’ve had a family of our own by now.” Rayna looks off mistily.

Gunnar and Scarlett: Fools In Love?
How does a couple go from awesome to awful in one episode? Just ask Gunnar (Sam Palladio), who freaked out when Will (Chris Carmack) kissed him last episode, right after stealing one of his dead brother’s songs and trying to play it off as his own. When he wakes up, Will and Scarlett (Clare Bowen) are gossiping and Gunnar refuses to play along with his cowboy hat-wearing pal, pretending everything is peachy. Scar tells ‘em she has tickets to the Edgehill party for Rayna and Juliette, but Gunnar’s like “I have to write in my gurnal” and disappears, so Scarlett takes Will instead.

Meanwhile, Gunnar records “Gun for a Mouth” for the record producer guy he met at Tootsie’s and homeskillz makes it clear he only likes the dark stuff and not the ballads. Which, if that is dark, we can only imagine what dude listens to when he’s happy (we knew someone was watching these non-ironically).

At the Edgehill party, Will shows that he might be using Scarlett when he tries to slip Rayna his demo, but Scar doesn’t seem to mind. She does, however, mind when she gets back home and hears Gunnar’s single — by stealing one side of his headphones while he narcissistically listens to it — and then finds out he stole the song from his brother. But Gunnar’s like “It’s just a song, that’s all.” We feel you, brah.

Miscellany Undeserving of Their Own Section

  • Coleman resigns as Deputy Mayor.
  • Teddy takes Maddie to a Father-Daughter Dance and is just as terrible at dancing as you’d think.
  • We didn’t hate everything Avery did. Unsettling, to say the least.
    Credit: YouTube Photo: Nashville Promo for Episode 20 "A Picture From Life's Other Side"