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We don’t know how we can wait another second for Nashville Season 1, Episode 15, “When You’re Tired of Breaking Other Hearts” — let alone an entire month! But because we can’t sleep, eat, or properly give ourselves fully to our Gunnlett fanfic without figuring out what happens in the next episode, we’ve dissected the promo frame by frame for your overactive imagination pleasure. Check it out and pitch your best conspiracy theories.

Juliette: “What time is the show again?”
Assistant: “Why?”
Juliette: “Because I invited the world”

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Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere) has taken over her own management since splitting with Glenn, and it looks like she’s trying to handle all of her social media as well. What is the show she’s planning and why is she leaving the whole thing up to her assistant and an iPhone 4?

Voiceover: “On the next all new Nashville

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Oh good, Rayna Jaymes (Connie Britton) is back onstage despite her messy life, and based on fan reaction and the way she dove in headfirst with a pair of white pants, it seems like everything is just peachy.

Juliette: “How Y’all Doin!”

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Juliette takes the stage for her secret show, and seems to have found a happy medium of hipster blousiness and pop star shimmer. Who’s in attendance? Where are they? So many questions.

Voiceover: “They live the music”

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Is that Rayna’s daughter in the far right frame? We can’t tell, but there certainly are a lot of teenyboppers there. Is that Ezra from Pretty Little Liars halfway back? It’s obviously a small venue — just a stage and a room. Is it a record store? A high school party? What is Juliette doing there?

Katie Couric: “You’re in the process of getting divorced...”

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We had heard Katie Couric would be showing her shapely legs on Nashville as herself, but weren’t sure why until now. Clearly she has had Rayna on her show to talk to her about her tour — and divorce. Is she #TeamRayna?

Katie Couric: “...that must be stressful.”

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Wow, Katie. Really? IRL you would never put up with such banal babble.

Voiceover: “And all the drama...”

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Ooh, Rayna takes her wedding ring off. Line up, gentlemen. That can’t have been an easy decision, but it looks like things are really over.

Deacon: “Why don’t you let me...”

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Oh, hello Dan Humphrey / Gossip Girl’s mom... We heard you’d be stopping by. Obviously, you’re in a pharmacy, but who the hell are you? And who are you smiling at like that?

Deacon: “...take you to lunch?”

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Ah yes, Deacon Claybourne (Charles Esten) is deserving of your pretty smile (even though Rufus Humphrey totally wasn’t). From the cage and painting behind him, Deacon is in the vet’s office. He did just get a young yeller from Juliette for his birthday — is he already injured, or just getting puppy shots? From that side smile, we’d bet the latter...

Voiceover: “...that comes...”

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Obviously, Alison Humphrey accepted Deacon’s invitation to lunch, and much more. According to a little birdy, she’ll be sticking around for a few episodes and series creator says of her stint, “For the first time, he’s interested in somebody who is very unlike Rayna and very unlike Juliette.” Will it end well? Will it be hot while it lasts?

Voiceover: “...with...”

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Scarlett O’Connor (Clare Bowen) looks nervous. Is she excited or terrified about what she’s spotted?

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We can’t imagine anyone would be unhappy to see Gunnar Scott (Sam Palladio), but considering the last time we saw him and Scarlett, they may or may not have been making a terrible mistake by hoooking up, we’re not sure. Nice necklace, though. Did you borrow that from Avery?

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Okay, what is it with this girl? Gunnar’s face is like an inch from hers and she still doesn’t look close to fainting.

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Yes. YES. YES!!!

Voiceover: “...it”

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What the F is Avery doing there? He literally just makes a face so we know he still exists. That’s all.

(Crowd screams)
Juliette: “Alright STOP!”

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Hmm, well, it looks like Juliette’s crowd wasn’t quite as amiable as they seemed. But that’s Deacon playing guitar for her at stage left. Based on the black and white photos, we’re guessing it’s a campus rec room, although the lighting system looks pretty sophisticated. Anybody out there know where they are?

Juliette: “Just calm down!”

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Okay, it has to be a college or high school campus, because that backdrop is ghhhheeeetttttoooo. Good luck with controlling the crowd, though, five-foot nothin’ Juliette.

(Crowd screams)

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If that really is Rayna’s daughter, she’s about to get trampled.

(Crowd screams some more)

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Everyone flushes out, obvi. Not exactly a great first effort managing yourself, Jules.

(and a little more...)

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Protect the talent!

Wow, that’s a lot going on. Tell us your feelings — you have a while.