This Week’s Weird News Stories — And How We’d Cast Them in Hollywood! (PHOTOS)

While you were busy watching Lindsay Lohan make her way toward that LA courthouse for the umpteenth time or pretending you haven’t seen those Justin Bieber underwear shots or feeling smug about how January Jones’s hair is falling out, an awful lot of bizarre news broke.

Thanks to our friends at the Weird News section of The Huffington Post, we’ve found some truly wackadoodle news to share with you. (And yes, swingin’ senior citizens are involved!)

And, as a bonus, we’re imagining these stories as Hollywood productions and casting them with our picks for the perfect actors for each role. Read on, if you dare!