Credit: Patrick McElhenney/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: Jess Gets Excited to Cook on New Girl Season 1, Episode 6: "Thanksgiving"

Even if this was a list of the top 100 quotes from the New Girl episode “Thanksgiving” we’d still have trouble whittling it down to our absolute favorites. The FOX comedy is just that funny.

But we’ve accomplished the impossible, so prepare to pee your pants. Again.

10. Fourth of July and Independence Day, you say?
Schmidt: Here’s a tip: Don’t cook Thanksgiving dinner for five people in 14 hours. Here’s another tip: Don’t ask a guy out for a first date on the least sexy holiday in America.
Jess: What are the most sexy holidays?
Schmidt: The most sexy holidays are Fourth of July, Independence Day, Women’s History Month, and Christmas.

9. Enchant us, Paul (Justin Long)
Jess: I forgot to tell you! Paul brought his violin, and with a little coaxing he might fiddle with the old horsehairs.
Paul: Only if you don’t mind being enchanted.
Nick: I just want to watch the game.

8. Tip: Don’t try to make Schmidt eat a walnut you’ve touched with unclean hands
Schmidt, to Cece: Beautiful savage.

7. It’s a fair question
Winston: Are we going to be able to hang out with Paul, or is he also a teacher?

6. He looks like a Jules to us
Jess: The turkey is named Hank. Hanksgiving. We are going to eat him.

5. Emphasis on maybe
Jess, who’s spooning the frozen turkey: Maybe if I take off all my clothes and get in bed with it the heat of my body will warm it up.

4. It’s Paul!
Nick, after Jess and Paul do an impromptu duet: Oh my God, there’s two of them.

3. He is a music teacher...
Winston: Here’s what we’re gonna do, Paul, just so I get to know you a little better, and you can know me better. We’re gonna play a little game.
Paul: Great, fun.
Winston: I’m gonna say something, and you’re gonna say the first thing that pops in your head.
Paul: Kazoo.
Winston: OK, we haven’t even started yet.
Paul: I’m gonna stick with kazoo.

2. And the Lions of Des Moines face off against the Bengals of Topeka...
Nick: Do you want to watch the football, maybe the Lions?
Paul: Ah, yes, the mighty, mighty Lions... of Des Moines. They play every Thanksgiving, right? Because they’re the most ferocious of the teams?
Nick: The Lions are from Detroit. The Detroit Lions.

1. Tiger Boobs is back!
Jess: I want to have sex with [Paul] big-time! I want to take him down to Chinatown and slice him off a piece of this pumpkin pie.

Credit: YouTube Photo: New Girl Season 1, Episode 6 Sneak Peek: Cece Plays Dirty on "Thanksgiving" (VIDEO)