The new FOX comedy New Girl is a half-hour show about an “adorkable” girl named Jess (Zooey Deschanel) who loves to sing and tends to blurt out whatever comes to her mind.
Throw her into an apartment with three guys, and you’ve got a recipe for awesomely hilarious. After catching her live-in boyfriend cheating on her in the pilot episode, Jess responds to a roommate want ad on Craigslist and moves in with three dudes — Schmidt (Max Greenfield), Nick (Jake Johnson), and Coach (Damon Wayans Jr.).
The boys try to help her regain her dating sea legs, but she’s a total fish out of water at the bar.
Things Jess says:
Schmidt (on getting Jess back into the dating scene): I’ll be, like, your guide.
Jess: Like Gandolf through Middle Earth?
Schmidt: First of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references, and let’s put them in a deep, dark cave where no one’s going to find them ever.
Jess: Except Smeagle. He lives in a cave.
Jess: Pink wine makes me slutty.
Jess (to a pawn shop owner): I thought pawn shops were about helping people, and frankly right now I feel taken advantage of. I just got out of a long relationship, and I don’t know what I’m doing emotionally, or — let’s be honest — sexually.
Things her roommates say:
Schmidt: Knowing every year that I will be going to the Wild, Wild West Charity Auction for Poverty reminds me that I am still a man, and I can still motorboat a hot girl who is also a member of the Cherokee Nation, which is not racist, because it’s for a good cause.
Schmidt: See that, man? It’s my new thumb ring. How choice is that? Little skull. So nectar.
Nick: Did you just make up “nectar”?
Schmidt: No, it’s a volleyball term.
Nick (upon seeing Spencer, Jess’s ex): That’s the “wizard”? He’s wearing a scrunchy.
Winston: It looks like he juggles clubs on the beach.