Disclaimer: We don’t know Suri Cruise. Not that we wouldn’t want to hang with her. (She’s always so delightfully disgruntled.) But in the grand tradition of Born Rich — an early ’00s documentary about the 20-something heirs to mega-fortunes — Suri will get a “sizable trust fund” when she turns 18, Radar Online reports.
According to a recent TMZ report, Katie Holmes only got about $5 million in her quickie divorce from Tom Cruise, but Suri’s dad is worth $250 million. Though the trust fund news wasn’t mentioned by TMZ, if it’s true, Suri could be living large when she hits 18.
Soon, Suri will start at a posh NYC school, where you know she’ll meet wealthy kids who will teach her how to spend that cash. Here are 10 ways we think the little Cruise will fit in with the rich kids.
10. Buy a spot on the 2024 Olympic gymnastics team
FYI, Suri loves gymnastics. It doesn’t matter if she can’t make the cut competition-wise. She’s got millions to burn! Throw them in the Olympic torch and secure your spot, Suri!
9. Work in the cornfields of Ohio
In the aforementioned Born Rich, Josiah Hornblower, a Vanderbilt and Whitney offspring, took a sabbatical from college to work in the oil fields. Way to learn the value of hard work, Hornblower!
Since Katie’s family is from Ohio, Suri will likely take on a similar project, husking corn. Let’s hope she wears gloves and a sunhat, though. Eh, maybe she’ll just play a few rounds of Farmville, instead.
8. Earn a BA in religious studies
Maybe Katie’s a Scientologist. Maybe she’s not. Either way, Suri could grow up confused if she’s torn between two religions. That’s why she’ll major in religious studies at Brown, which she’ll choose, because — let’s face it — Summer Roberts went there.
7. Start a clothing line
A child who starts wearing high heels at the age of 3 is bound to continue to be a fashion trendsetter as she grows up to be a stylish celebutante about town. Expect Suri’s line to be influenced by Christian Louboutin, Marc Jacobs, and the color pink.
6. Start traveling by helicopter everywhere
Walking? Please, that’s so pedestrian. Private air travel is the only way to fly.
5. Become “funemployed”
According to Rich Kids of Instagram, “funemployed” means drinking champagne for breakfast every day. She’ll have to wait until she’s 21, but she wasn’t actually planning on using that religious studies degree, anyway.
4. Take up dressage
Both a Bloomberg and an Onassis do it, so you know it’s trust-fund-kid-approved. This competitive equestrian sport is sometimes called “horse dancing.” Expect Suri’s mount to be decked out in apparel from her new horse clothing line, Suri With the Fringe on Top.
3. Buy a private island
For when the strain of morning mimosas, pony ballet, and dress designing become too much to bear. Suri might also need her own jet if the chopper can’t hold enough fuel.
2. Make a will leaving everything to her American Girl Doll Collection
Leona Helmsley left her fortune to her dog. Why shouldn’t Suri’s dolls get all her money?
1. Start a charity for poorly dressed celebrity children
Not everyone is blessed with Suri’s fashion sense, and a rich girl’s gotta have a cause. Please send all your Chanel castoffs to Suri’s Style Fund: Making Over Fashion Disasters One Affleck at a Time. (Sorry, we read a lot of Suri’s Burn Book.)