Now that Twilight co-hotties Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have apparently weathered the scandal sparked by the release of those infamously steamy images of Bella kissing someone else, it’s time to look back at some of the craziest rumors and reports that surfaced during the ensuing months. Such dark months they were.
Without further ado...
1. Someone — we’re assuming Rob, but it’s not clear — enjoys licking under Kristen’s armpits. (We think.)
In her pre-scandal interview with British Vogue, Kristen got uncharacteristically candid about her “boyfriend”... without clarifying whether she was, in fact, referring to Rob. Or just being facetious. “My God, I’m so in love with my boyfriend,” she gushed. “I wish he were here now. I think I want to have his babies.”
She continued, “God, I miss him. I love the way he smells. And him me. Like, he loves to lick under my armpits. I don’t get this obsession with washing the smell off. That smell of someone you love. Don’t you think it’s the whole point?” [READ MORE]
2. Kristen was first attracted to Rob’s... pants.
Of all the handsome guy’s winning attributes, Kristen was won over by Rob’s trousers? [READ MORE]
3. Rob and Kristen will stay in different hotel rooms on the Breaking Dawn media tour.
Apparently, Summit Entertainment isn’t taking any chances with these two. [READ MORE]
4. Kristen surrounded herself with stuffed animals and mounted a letter-writing campaign to get Rob back.
And while Kristen was supposedly busy with her pen, paper, and plush toys, Rob apparently did some drunk-dialing. [READ MORE]
5. Rob flirted with Rihanna and turned to Katy Perry for support; James Franco asked Kristen out.
Rihanna has since slammed the report as total “bullsh-t.” [READ MORE]
However, Rob was spotted out and about with a drill in New York City, which still remains unexplained.
Meanwhile, James Franco reportedly — emphasis on reportedly — asked Kristen out to dinner. [READ MORE]
6. Kristen was thisclose to a “total meltdown.”
Just like us. [READ MORE]
7. Kristen has marriage on the brain; Rob is all about “booze and Buddhism.”
Those things aren’t mutually exclusive... [READ MORE]
8. Rob and Kristen weren’t going to have sex for a month after getting back together.
Yeah right, and we’re the Pope. [READ MORE]
9. Kristen wants Rob’s name tattooed on her body.
Ink is eternal — just like Bella and Edward’s love. [READ MORE]
10. While working things out, the two fought over “custody” of their house plants.
Um, you get your people to deal with that; they’re the ones in the weeds. [READ MORE]
Finally, because we love this girl’s unbridled passion, we’re going to end with the amazing video from the Twihard who just couldn’t fathom why someone would cheat on the likes of Edward Cullen. Watch on, friends.