Credit: Getty Images Photo: George Clooney at the 2012 Golden Globes

Ricky Gervais? Whatever. The British host wasn’t the only one worth talking about at the 69th annual Golden Globe Awards. He didn’t even give an erection update! (Thanks for that, Seth Rogen.) Here are the most memorable NON-Ricky moments of the 2012 show.

• Rob Lowe and Julianne Moore had a teleprompter malfunction toward the start of the show when they tried to introduce the new Miss Golden Globe. It forced a staff member to bring out a script so Julianne could do a “cold read.”

• Presenters Rob Lowe, Johnny Depp ,and Antonio Banderas competed for The George Hamilton Tan Award, while Johnny separately competed with Madonna for Most Questionable Accent.

• Elizabeth McGovern tripped while going up to the stage to accept the Best TV Miniseries award for Downton Abbey. The Dowager Countess of Grantham would be appalled!

• Tiny Fey photo-bombed Amy Poehler during the intro for Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series - Comedy or Musical. They were both nominated, but neither won. Still, their photo-bombing moment is now a gif!

• In his Best Supporting Actor speech, Beginners star Christopher Plummer gave a shout-out to his wife of 43 years, "whose bravery and beauty still haunts me." Now there’s a compliment.

• During NBC’s pre-show, Elton John said he had serious competition for Best Original Song, but not from Madge. “Madonna hasn't got a f--king chance,” he sniffed. Well, wrong! Madonna turned out to be the winner and she was as surprised as anyone. The camera really should’ve stayed on Elton’s face throughout her speech.

• Kate Beckinsale and Seth Rogen walked on stage to present Best Actress In A Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical and Seth felt the need to say this: "Hello, I'm Seth Rogen and I am currently trying to conceal a massive erection." Nice. Way to keep the show Kim Kardashian klassy!

• During her acceptance speech for My Week With Marilyn, Michelle Williams said she was a mother first and an actress second. She thanked her daughter for her bravery and exuberance and for putting up with hearing bedtime stories in Marilyn Monroe's accent.

Modern Familys Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Mitchell Pritchett) held up a "Whatever" sign behind his nominated co-star, Eric Stonestreet (Cameron Tucker), when the names were read off for Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series. The real “Whatever” was putting Modern Family in the same category as Game of Thrones, Mildred Pierce, Cinema Verite, and Too Big To Fail. Crazy.

• At the end of his acceptance speech for Game of Thrones, Peter Dinklake said he was thinking about a gentleman in England named Martin Henderson. "Google him." After Googling him, we found a Deadspin story beginning "Martin Henderson, a 37 year-old British man who suffers from dwarfism, was out celebrating his birthday and watching the Rugby World Cup when he was suddenly, and violently tossed by a 'hooded thug' while trying to enjoy a smoke outside of the White Horse Pub in Wincanton, Somerset." Read more about his tragic story here. 'Cause Peter said to!

• George Clooney walked on stage with Brad Pitt's cane to poke fun at his pal while introducing Brad's film Moneyball. "I have to give it back to him. He can't make it to the bar otherwise."

• Woody Allen couldn’t be bothered to show up to claim his screenplay award for Midnight In Paris, making Nicole Kidman tell the camera “Come and get it, Woody!”

• William H. Macy and wife Felicity Huffman sang the introduction for Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series. They were pretty good!

• Madonna trash-talked Ricky after he snarked about her being "like a virgin." "If I'm still just like a virgin, Ricky, then why don't you come over here and do something about it? I haven't kissed a girl in a few years. [Pause] On TV."

• Legendary actor Sidney Poitier got a standing ovation when he stepped up to the podium. Then paused. A lot. While introducing Morgan Freeman as the Cecil B. DeMille award winner for lifetime achievement. Love the guy, but Helen Mirren’s intro was a lot more fun. Morgan also paused while complimenting the man and woman who introduced him. Class itself, this guy.

• NBC turned into a Spanish station for the Best TV Comedy-Musical award, which went to Modern Family. But first presenter Antonio Banderas issued a Spanish rant at host Ricky Gervais — with co-presenter Salma Hayek saying she didn’t know what he was saying, either. When Modern Family won, Sofia Vergara (Gloria) gave the acceptance speech in Spanish with the show’s co-creator translating. Sofia recommended that film actresses give the show’s writers their phone numbers at the Globes after-parties. “They may look pasty and nervous and out of shape but they’re the greatest lovers I’ve ever had.”

• Meryl Streep forget to bring her glasses on stage while giving her rambling (tipsy?) speech for Best Actress in The Iron Lady. There was a great game of pass-the-glasses from Harvey Weinstein (aka "God") to George Clooney to try and get the specs to Meryl on stage. She seemed to go without them. Just like Viola Davis has to go without her (rightful) win. And Tilda Swinton has to live with Meryl calling her “Gilda.”

• After Natalie Portman had a tough time finding the microphone to hand out the Best Actor in a Motion Picture-Drama award, winner George Clooney gave long overdue praise to Shame actor Michael Fassbender “for taking over the frontal nudity responsibility that I had,” adding that Michael could play golf with his hands behind his back. Ahem!

 

For the latest from Wetpaint Entertainment, Like us on our Facebook page at facebook.com/Wetpaint, or Follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/WetpaintTV.