Credit: Eamonn McCormack/Getty Images Photo: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag at an OK! Magazine Signing in London on February 2, 2013

Today, August 14, is Spencer Pratt’s 30th birthday. That’s young enough to rebuild his life after spending $10 million preparation for doomsday. In a sort of Mayan apocalypse version of Brewster’s Millions, Spencer and wife Heidi Montag attempted to divest themselves of as much cash as possible before the world ended in 2012. But long before that, the couple was spending money in hopes of reaching Kardashian-levels of fame. (Where was Stephanie Pratt, unlikely voice of reason, when you needed her?) In honor of the former Hills star turning the big 3-0, we decided to list the many things he spent his money on. Happy birthday, Spence. Sorry we don’t have $15,000 to gift you with.

• $15,000 cash on birthday presents

• Cars for friends

• $200 to people who may or may not have been doormen for opening doors

• $100,000 per month on clothes, adding up to $1 million for Spencer

• Dinners at restaurants where Mel Gibson ate

• $2 million on Heidi's album Superficial (including, we assume, her unforgettable video for “Higher”)

• A big blue monster truck “just to drive it on The Hills for an episode”

• $500,000 on crystals

• An estimated $30,000 on Heidi’s 10 plastic surgery procedures

• $35,000 a month for a mansion in Malibu

• $8,500 a month on a home in Hollywood Hills

• $1,000 on guns

• $2,890 on a fake diamond ring for Heidi

• $250,000 on Neil Lane jewelry for their wedding

Sources: The Daily Beast, The Huffington Post, The Daily Mail, ET Online, Life & Style, Daily Finance, Celebitchy, TMZ, In Touch