You could consider Joan Rivers something of a one-trick pony herself — her job is to take below-the-belt shots at celebrities (including herself) and she's been successful at it for years.

Joan, who turns 81 on June 8, has a dozen humor books under her belt, and her latest is called Diary of a Mad Diva.

Page Six got a look at the book and they shared a couple of passages, including where Joan mocks Kristen Stewart's affair with her married Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders. “Many stars only do one thing well,” Joan writes. “Of course, the best one-trick pony is Kristen Stewart, who got a whole career by being able to juggle directors’ balls.”

Da-dum-dum.

• Here's more from Joan, on fashion: “No one is allowed to dress up anymore during Award Season…The networks have new decency guidelines, which insist that no more breasts, buttocks or genitalia show. Luckily, because of celebrities like Pharrell and his stupid hat, we’ll still be able to see a–holes."
 

• Joan on vampires: “They’re everywhere: movies, TV, museums. Enough already! If I want the life sucked out of me, I’ll spend a long weekend with Bethenny Frankel." (OK, that one wasn't so bad...)

• And here's some cringe-worthy Joan: “It’s all over the news that Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy to prevent getting cancer. I think Paris Hilton should…step up to the plate and try to prevent STDs. It would be so easy for her. All she would have to do is have her knees fused together.”

Paris Hilton jokes have been stale for about a decade now — she may as well go after the Kardashians if she's hitting easy targets — but Paris may not mind being name-dropped again.

Joan's book comes out July 1. Here's part of the blurb: "Anais Nin, Anne Frank and Sylvia Plath wrote the world’s most famous diaries. And where are they today? Dead. But the world’s OTHER great diarist, Joan Rivers, is alive and kicking. And complaining. [...] Follow Joan on a family vacation in Mexico and on trips between New York and Los Angeles where she mingles with the stars, never missing a beat as she delivers blistering critiques on current events, and excoriating insights about life, pop culture, and celebrities (from A to D list), all in her relentlessly funny signature style."

What do you think? Have you read Joan's other books? Would you read this one?

SourcesPage SixAmazon


Credit: NDN Photo: Kristen Stewart Threatening to Sue Joan Rivers (VIDEO)