We’ve always wondered what Leslie Knope, Amy Poehler’s fabulously ambitious Parks and Recreation character, would do if elected to the Oval Office. Now we know, thanks to a column she wrote for Variety painting a vivid and waffle-filled picture of Day One of her hypothetical presidency. “A Knope presidency will be a waffle-based presidency,” she writes. “And everyone has to deal with that.”
In a nutshell: Breakfast foods — and only breakfast foods — will be available at all hours of the day and night; Beyonce will hang around to pump her up; Madeleine Albright will return to the White House as Secretary of State; and Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) will serve as her chief “All Government Is Stupid” advisor. She’ll also enact marriage equality and universal health care.
She’ll kick off this first busy day with a breakfast symposium. Since most of the attendees will probably be men, she writes, “I'd ask Beyonce to perform ‘Run the World (Girls)’ while she and I stand next to a giant lion, like in the video, just so they'd all remember who's boss.”
Smart. And so very Knope.
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