Credit: John M. Heller/Getty Images Photo: Heidi Montag Pulls Back Her Hair

What were you doing last night? Certainly not watching as much TV as we were — that's not possible! So, while you were off teaching your cats how to use the toilet, this is what you missed:

Some of Heidi Montag's friends popped up on Famous Food, and they were just awful. They complained, made dramatic gestures to emphasize the rubbery texture of the chicken, and served up a heaping helping of "oh, no she didn't" criticism. When confronted about her Suzy sad-sack frenemies, Heidi explained that they are restaurant owners who know the business. A word of advice, Heidi: When it's a restaurant run by celebrities, it's best to invite people looking to get a peek at Jake's Pavelka, not what's on the menu. Unless Jake's Pavelka is on the menu — in that case, it's OK. Yes, we went there. [Watch at AolTV]

Susan Boyle is back! After a series of failed attempts to sing well in public, The Boyle returned to America's Got Talent to belt out a little ditty. And she was good! Also, the Top 10 were revealed, but apparently no one cared because the show's ratings are kind of in the toilet. [Watch at AolTV]

David Arquette, who you may remember from such roles as Riley Dewey in Scream or "Max's Dad" in the art-house classic The Adventures of Sharkgirl and Lavaboy 3D, went on Letterman to talk about his new stint on Dancing With the Stars, being sober, and Rob Kardashian's "great ass." We agree, David. It's pretty great. [Watch at Gawker]

Blue-eyed giggle monster Anderson Cooper is in love with Snooki. No, really, he is. Last night, he made her recent day at the news desk the subject of his AC360 "Ridiculist" segment, espousing her flawless delivery and color commentary. In fact, he's so in love with her that he believes Heaven is like "curling up for eternity in a big, fluffy cloud of Snooki logic." Anderson, while our version of Heaven doesn't involve Snooki, you're definitely in the mix. In the words of the almighty Snooki, "Later, bitches." [Watch at Gawker