This is no “party of the first party.” If you’ve ever fallen asleep reading a legal document, with its endless definitions and clarifications... know that this is not one of those.

Patrick "Big Pat" Strickland, Chris Brown’s bodyguard at the time of his bar brawl with Drake over Rihanna, is taking Drake and the nightclub where the fight took place (plus its shareholders, its landlord, and its employees) to court for “creating a substantial and unjustifiable risk to the lives, health and safety of others”; for overserving; for “severe and disfiguring injuries”; and several other actions that, the document alleges, contributed to the situation.

If you want to see a lawsuit that sees fit to define “Drake entourage," quotes "I am f—cking the love of your life" multiple times, and takes subjective digs at Drake’s lack of critical acclaim, read on!

Obviously, the document, like all legal documents, is long and repetitive. But since E! posted the whole shebang, we would be remiss in our duties to not read over it and deliver some choice quotes. Emphasis was added by us.

  • "At all times relevant to this complaint, defendant AUBREY GRAHAM DRAKE a/k/a/ DRAKE (hereinafter “Drake) was a popular and commercially successful, albeit critically derided, entertainer and hip-hop musician."
  • "Drake was present at [the nightclub] in the company of several third parties whom Drake employed or over whom Drake exercised control or had a duty to control (hereinafter the 'Drake entourage')."
  • “Prior to the night of June 13-14, 2012, it was highly publicized in the entertainment news media and tabloid press that Drake and Chris Brown were engaged in a heated, acrimonious, and ongoing rivalry for the affections of Rihanna.
  • “[Bar owners and employees] knew or should have known that seating Chris Brown, Drake, and their respective entourages in close proximity to each other would create a substantial and unjustifiable risk that a mass altercation would occur between the two camps, causing bodily injury to patrons of both establishments.”
  • “Drake requested that a person employed by [the bar] as a server, who was providing the aforementioned excessive amounts of intoxicating beverages, deliver a note to Chris Brown. The note stated, 'I am f—cking the love of your life'”
  • “Drake knew, or should have known, that sending the aforementioned note to Chris Brown would inflame the volitile situation that was created when the two entertainers’ parties were seated in close proximity to each other and served excessive amounts of intoxicating beverages.”

Well then! If you ever wanted a notarized version of the blow-by-blow of that altercation, there you have it.

What do you think? Should Drake be held responsible for the actions of his entourage? Should the bar staff be held responsible for seating Chris Brown and Drake too close to each other?