Are ya'll ready for this week's roundup of inspirational musings from our personal guru, the one and only Honey Boo Boo? Everything that comes out of this gal's mouth is a precious gift that needs to be savored and/or transformed into a haiku — so sit back, relax, and redneckognize.
Also, feel free to share this moment with Glitzy Pig (aka a platter of bacon).
10. Chickadee describes her contractions: "Ow, it's going through my va-jay-jay."
OMG, the biscuit is bakin'!
9. Honey Boo Boo worries about the baby: "It's gonna smell like poop when she poops."
Sigh, so wise and astute.
8. Pumpkin chats about her weight gain goal: "That's an awesome goal. That's the second thing besides my butthole piercing."
Annnnd, we're heaving into a brown paper bag.
7. Honey Boo Boo explains her digestive system: "When my belly hurts, it's usually gas. Or too many chicken nuggets."
Worth it every time.
6. Honey Boo Boo gets her safety on: "Mama, this life jacket makes me look like a chunky lemon!"
Why must she be so adorable and twee?
5. Mama reveals her one regret: "I don't straddle things very well."
By "things" she means Sugar Bear.
4. Honey Boo Boo prepares herself for the water park: "I hope I don't see a bunch of wedgies at the waterpark. Vagiggle jaggles gonna be hanging out, though."
You is good, you is kind, you is important.
3. Honey Boo Boo eggs on Mama: "C'mon, Mama. Show your forklift foot!"
Please don't. No, please...our eyes!
2. Honey Boo Boo writes an impromptu limerick: "Spray tan's like poop in a can."
She's a poet and she didn't know it!
1. Honey Boo Boo wins big: "Here comes the kwaaaaaaahhhhhhnnnnn!"
Translation: Here comes the queeeeeeeen!
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