We already laid out the joys of vampire sex for all you closet fangbangers, so it’s only fair we do the same for werewolves. (After all, who says the Halloween spirit has to end with October?)
So if you’ve had it up to there with all the cold, pale, heartless bloodsuckers out there basking in the spotlight, it’s time for you to move onto another species of sexy supernatural. So why knock boots with a lusty lycanthope? Read on!
1. They’re animals between the sheets. If you like it rough, they’ll claw, bite, and... well, you get where we’re going with this.
2. They were born with eight-packs. Let’s keep this one short and to the point: See photo for exhibits A and B. Case closed.
4. They howl appreciatively. Werewolves give new meaning to the expression “howl with pleasure.”
5. They have full heads of hair. Have you ever seen a balding werewolf? Right, they simply don’t exist. Take comfort in knowing that you’ll always have something to hold on to when things get wild.
6. They’re loyal. The logic is simple: If he’s part dog, he won’t let you down.
7. They’re supernaturally agile and strong.
So they can go cover-to-cover with you with that copy of Position of the Day: Sex Every Day in Every Way you have on your bookshelf. (Don’t deny it.)
8. They’re always hot.
See: aforementioned visual evidence. But we’re actually talking about how their body temperature runs warmer than yours. Perfect for keeping you warm in your post-coital spoonfest.
9. They’re experts at doing it doggy-style!
Sorry, we had to go there! Still, you know it’s true. But they’re sensitive and respectful enough to only do it that way if it’s your preference.
Next up, the joys of ghost sex... or not.
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