Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images Photo: Robert Pattinson Receives the Golden Popcorn at the 2011 MTV Movie Awards

Holy crap. Maybe Robert Pattinson should not be allowed to ad-lib or read off a card!

Rob, Patrick Dempsey, and Chelsea Handler presented the 2011 MTV Movie Awards’ Generation Award to Reese Witherspoon.

When talking about working with Reese, Rob mentioned how they first worked together in the film Vanity Fair, where she played his mother. He added that Reese was directly responsible for cutting him out of the film. Seven years later they worked together again in Water For Elephants, and this time he played her lover. “I didn’t cut you out,” he said, “but I did f**k you.”

The curse word was not bleeped out. He went on to say more crazy things about Southerners wearing girdles, how tequila is like Lay’s potato chips — you can’t just have one — and how “it’s possible to be 33 percent lesbian; I’m not mentioning any names.” Reese covered her face at that one. Rob ended with the wisdom, “As you get older you realize it’s not always a bad thing to have sexual chemistry with your mother.”

In her speech, Reese helped Rob fix the punchline to his joke. It was supposed to be that he’s “the best motherf**ker” in Hollywood.

Who knew R-Patz was the ultimate roastmaster? (Or that he would be willing to kiss Taylor Lautner on the mouth?)

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