Nick Viall on Why We Should Talk About Sex on The Bachelorette
Credit: Todd Wawrychuk/ABC Television Group    

The Bachelorette

Nick Viall on Why We Should Talk About Sex on The Bachelorette

For 18 seasons of The Bachelor and 10 seasons of The Bachelorette, the contestants and leads all abided by one strict, unspoken rule: What happens in the Fantasy Suites, stays in the Fantasy Suites. Sure, there have been hints at the hanky panky that might be happening in these overnight dates — anyone remember the Ed Swiderski alleged, ahem, engine failure? — but no one has ever come out and said the S-E-X word on the show… until Nick Viall came along. And now, Andi Dorfman’s runner-up is speaking out on why this subject shouldn’t be taboo on the ABC reality hit.

Nick Viall on Why We Should Talk About Sex on The Bachelorette
Credit: ABC video still    

In a new op-ed posted to Sean Lowe’s blog, Nick defends his decision to bring up the intimate moment between himself and Andi during the After the Finale Rose special. While we’ve heard him do so before, McSalty does bring up a good point: Why, in 2014, should a 27-year-old woman and 33-year-old man feel pressured to keep the topic of sex under wraps? We get that this is a personal thing — which the Bachelorette gruffly pointed out during the special — but should it have been such a big deal?

“There’s an unwritten rule that no one really talks about what happens on those nights,” Nick begins in the piece. “However, what happens there actually affects the relationships in profound ways. It’s a time when a couple can be together and share special time without the cameras. It doesn’t have to mean sex, but, of course, we all know that happens.”

The Milwaukee native then goes on to state that when people are “hesitant to discuss sex” in the Fantasy Suite, it can feel “inauthentic.” After all, birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it!

Nick then admits he never had any plans to bring up what happened between himself and Andi in the Fantasy Suite, but that when she told him point blank that she never loved him, he was hurt. For this grown man, sex is “a big deal” — despite what stereotypes imply — and “Andi’s decision to have sex with [him] was not appropriate.”

“Either she was unsure about our relationship or — worse — she was certain she was choosing Josh. In both of those circumstances, I felt as if she didn’t respect my feelings and that she should not [have] had sex with me,” the tech salesman writes, explaining that his feelings were only solidified in the close encounter.

It’s all making a litte more sense now. “If the emotional attachment to sex isn’t equal, sex can be hurtful,” Nick elaborates, and we really can’t argue that one. But lest you think the Season 10 contestant is publicly shaming Andi, he insists that’s not the case. “In a culture where sex has no bounds, it’s hard to figure out how to fit it into your life without hurting each other.”

So why did he bring all this up? “I’m speaking out about this incident because I hope Bachelor Nation will have a more honest conversation about the Fantasy Suites and the emotional repercussions of sex.”

Fair enough!

Source: Sean Lowe’s Patheos Blog