“Oh My God, I’m a Different Race!” and Other Quotes From Jersey Shore, Season 3, Episode 11
Pauly done learned geography! We learned a new meaning of GTL! Jersey ShoreSeason 3, Episode 11 (March 10, 2011) was chock full of oratory gems — so put on a clean T-shirt, slap on some baby oil, and check out our personal faves.
10) Vinny: "Oh my god, I'm a different race!" We're not sure if Oompa Loomas count as a separate race, Vin.
9) Pauly: "I did not know Staten Island is an actual island, until we went over the bridge." Pop Quiz, Pauly: You're home state of Rhode Island is an actual island — true or false?
8) Ron: "The only reason that you're doing dip from the girl you just slept with is 'cause you've got a girl in the car." Spoken like a pro.
7) Snooki: "Whoever I have babies with, he's gotta be Italian because the last name needs to have a vowel in it. And I want my kids' last name to have a vowel in it. And be tan. Obviously." We hope she registers for an infant tanning bed for her baby shower.
6) Pauly: "I love Vinny's family, they're like my own family: old-school Italian. It was like a guido circus." It looked less like a circus and more like some kind of chicken parm binge-eating contest.
5) Pauly: "GTF! Gym. Tan. Find out who Sam is texting behind Ronnie's back." His name is Arvin, and he looks like a exhibit from the Neanderthal section in the Museum of Natural History.
4) Sam (of Ron): "I think since being here, like, for the past week, I just see, like, a major difference." Yes. In the hot second you were apart, your juiced-up, agro boyfriend with the IQ of a mosquito taught himself how to be normal, decent human being. Good observation, genius.
3) Pauly: "If this relationship continues I'll kill myself. There'll be no more DJ. I will kill myself if they're still together. I will kill myself." You and me both, bro.
2) Vinny's Cousin Joe (to Pauly, obvs): "Hey, what is it with that haircut, man? Bride Frankenstein ain't got nothing on you." Oooh, snap! Cousin Joe is officially our new favorite person ever.
1) Jenni: "It's the same s**t, different toilet for Ron and Sam." How can something be so repulsive, yet so insightful and true?