Eat my dust! In this week's Once Upon a Time (Season 3, Episode 3: “Quite a Common Fairy”), Tinkerbell grabs Regina by the heartstrings, Henry isn't in a mood for apples, and we learn once and for all that guys with tattoos always get the girls.
How Do You Like Them Apples?
At the start of the episode, our heroes are still on the hunt for Henry and Peter Pan. They realize that Peter has been moving his camp — doesn't Peter know that moving is a total drag? — so Hook suggests they contact Tink. Regina isn't so hot on that idea.
Peter tries to convince Henry how much fun you can have in Neverland, although being required to shoot an apple off someone's head with a poisoned arrow isn't most people's idea of an awesome Saturday night. Henry tries to shoot that arrow at Peter, but Peter catches it. We're guessing Peter has had a lot of practice at catching arrows that get shot at him, since people always seem to want to kill him.
Regina is dreading running into Tink because saying they have a rocky past is putting it rather mildly. Then again, who doesn't Regina have a rocky past with? Sure enough, Regina soon bumps into Tink — who is looking like she hasn't had a shower in the past decade or so — who knocks her out with poppies. Flower power, indeed.
Have a Heart
Regina realizes that Tink no longer has magic, and she takes out her own heart for Tink to crush. Thankfully, Regina convinces Tink not to give in to revenge as Regina has. The group invite Tink to go home with them, and so she agrees to help them find Peter, even though she doesn't love the idea.
Peter explains to Henry that magic is dying in every world and that Emma is actually the savior because she created Henry with the Dark One's son. Peter hands Henry a scroll with a picture drawn long ago of Henry. And no offense, but between last week's invisible map and now this scroll, Peter is pretty awful at choosing gifts for people.
David's wound from last week isn't getting any better, and Hook is worried about it, too, giving David no more than a few weeks left to live. Way to sugarcoat things, Hook. David still hasn't told Emma or Snow about his medical health issue, so it's especially tough when Snow delivers than tear-worthy speech about what he means to her. We're guessing David is hoping Obamacare covers Neverland-related poisonings.
When in Doubt, Choose a Guy With a Tattoo
In this week's flashback, we see Regina trying to break free from being taught evil by Rumple. Good luck with that, Regina. We also see Regina was a bit clumsier back then than she is now, as she is saved from a serious fall by Tinkerbell coincidentally appearing with some pixie dust. Tink wants to use more pixie dust to save Regina, but the Blue Fairy doesn't think that's such a great idea.
But as we all know, following orders is boring, so Tink swipes the pixie dust and uses it to help Regina find her true love in a pub. But Regina evidently decides she's as tired of the bar scene as a lot of people are these days, and so she never meets her handsome lion-tatted man of her dreams but tells Tink she did. And what does Tink get for her troubles? She loses her wings. Yes, the Blue Fairy runs a tight ship.
Headed to Neverland, Without a Shadow of a Doubt
Back in Fairytale Land, Neal realizes that Henry is a captive of Peter and the Lost Boys in Neverland, and he and Mulan decide to use Robin's son, Roland, to help him get there. And why wouldn't you jump at the chance to put your own child at risk? But clearly Robin is a better friend than we are, so he uses his son as bait for the evil child-snatching shadow.
When the shadow arrives, Neal manages to hitch a ride on it to Neverland. See, people — this is why you save frequent flier miles, to avoid having to cling to evil shadows to get from one place to another. When Neal arrives in Neverland, the Lost Boy informs him that Peter will be glad to see him. These Lost Boys sure have a knack for being at the right place at the time, don't they?
Meanwhile, in what is a surprisingly sexy scene, Mulan and Aurora share quite a moment as Mulan informs Aurora — who's now preggers — that she is joining Robin's Merry Men. Does Mulan carry a torch for Aurora? Hmm. And when Mulan does join the gang, we realize it's Robin who has the lion tattoo, meaning he's Regina's true love. Let's just hope lion tattoos weren't extremely popular back then, or else this could get confusing.
Three Biggest Mysteries of the Night:
1. So is Regina indeed destined to end up with Robin Hood? We've been anxiously awaiting Regina gettin' a little action one of these days, so we're very excited for this potential romance. Then again, Regina's suitors don't fare too well, so Robin might want to be careful. (Translation: We still miss you, Graham!)
2. David is definitely looking to be kinda screwed these days, thanks to that scratch. So will dark magic be needed to save him, a la that magic candle from last season that saved Gold by killing Cora? We're stiill hoping Emma can step up and use magic to save David somehow.
3. And who will save Henry? It's great that Neal is now in Neverland, and we're thinking he might team up with his dear ol' dad Gold to find Henry. And speaking of Neal, will Emma choose him or Hook? Because she and Hook have been getting awfully chummy lately, and we're definitely digging them together. Don't hate us, Swanfire fans.