Who’s your daddy? In this week’s Once Upon a Time (Season 3, Episode 8: "Think Lovely Thoughts"), Gold and Pan have some issues to resolve, Emma and Regina gaze up at the moon, and Henry gives someone one heck of a gift.
Gold Can Save David. Maybe.
Pan tells the Lost Boys that Henry is willing to do whatever it takes on Skull Rock to bring magic back to Neverland. Bad idea, Henry. And speaking of Henry, everyone is still looking for the little guy. Gold tells the others that Pandora’s Box will trap Pan if he opens the lid, but Neal has them all convinced that Gold came to Neverland to kill Henry. This is one family that could use some counseling.
Neal tells Gold that he still doesn’t trust him, so Gold hands Pandora’s Box over to him. Gold also reveals that Pan destroyed his father, meaning Pan is probably the most angst-filled adolescent ever, which is really saying something.
Emma tells Hook that they need to save David, but Hook says David is screwed. Thanks so much for that, Hook. Luckily, Gold overhears and points out that he can save David in Storybrooke with an elixir from his shop. Let’s hope this works out a bit better than when Gold tried to help Whale save his brother.
Wendy Gets to Stretch Her Legs a Bit
Our heroes find Pan’s camp, with Regina giving a not-so-warm welcome by knocking out the Lost Boys. They find Wendy in her cage, and she has a touching reunion with Neal, although she doesn’t recognize him. We imagine her wanting to say, “That goatee is not your friend, dude.”
Wendy explains that she came to Neverland to save Neal. She then lies to them all about Pan, but she finally reveals that Pan is sick, as Neverland apparently doesn’t have Obamacare. The only thing that can cure Pan is taking Henry’s heart, which will make Pan immortal but kill Henry. That’s not a great trade-off, if you ask us.
Pan and Henry reach Skull Rock, where Pan draws a line in the sand with a stick as a protection spell. Everyone else reaches the island as well, but only Gold can cross the line, since he doesn’t have a shadow. Luckily, Emma is able to help Regina channel her apparent love of astronomy by blocking out the moon's light, which eliminates their shadows. Makes perfect sense, right?
Have a Heart
Pan takes Henry to a ginormous hourglass, which he claims is counting down to the end of Neverland’s magic. Pan slips away for a moment, where we learn that — shocking twist alert! — Pan is actually Gold’s dad. Say what?! This reminds us a little of Luke learning that he’s Darth Vader’s son in Star Wars. Come to think of it, maybe we should be glad Pan didn’t cut off Gold’s hand.
Pan wants Gold to give him another chance so they can have a fresh start together, but Gold isn’t loving that idea. Gold now has Pandora’s Box, since Neal gave it back to him, so Gold tries to use it on Pan. But Pan has switched their boxes, and so he turns Gold into a red smoke, which is then sucked into the real Pandora’s Box. So, uh, Pandora’s Box is basically a fancy Dustbuster?
Pan heads back to Henry and convinces Henry to pull out his own heart. Just as Henry is about to give it to Pan, our heroes arrive and tell Henry that Pan is tricking him. But Henry is convinced he needs to save magic, and so he puts his heart into Pan’s body, which causes a spell to spread throughout the island. Henry is knocked out, while Pan floats above them all, looking even more evil than usual.
Gold’s Dad Needs to Grow Up
In tonight’s Fairytale Land flashback, we meet Gold’s scheming father, who bilks the townspeople out of money with card games. Gold’s father gives Gold a doll but then leaves him with a few elderly women while he goes off to find work. In the meantime, the ladies teach Gold to use a spinning wheel, and Gold has quite a knack for it. Whaddya know.
The women give Gold a magic bean, which he shows to his father. His father says they can use it to go to a place he saw in his mind as a boy when he would think happy thoughts. They use the bean to create a portal, and it takes them to this magic land. But if it were us, we’d just use the bean to go to Cancun and get some tropical drinks or something.
Gold’s dad was previously able to fly in Neverland when he was a kid, but he realizes he needs pixie dust to do so. So he and Gold find an extremely tall tree, which apparently has the pixie dust. Gold’s dad wants Gold to climb the tree with him, but Gold isn’t feeling that. Gold’s like, “Uh, haven’t you ever heard of a ladder?”
So his dad heads up the tree, but when he reaches the pixie dust, he runs into the only other inhabitant of the island: The super-creepy shadow guy. Gold’s dad returns to his son, only to let the shadow take him so he can become a little boy again. And when the shadow leaves with Gold, we see Gold’s dad turn in... Peter Pan. No wonder Gold and Pan have so many issues.
Finally, the shadow — voiced by glam rocker Marilyn Manson! — takes Pan to the hourglass and explains that his youth only lasts for a finite amount of time. But Pan is determined to find a way to stay young forever. Don’t worry, Pan — there is a way to stay young forever, and it’s called Botox.
Three Biggest Mysteries of the Night:
1. Is Pan actually immortal? And how will Gold get out of Pandora’s Box? We’re hoping that Emma and Regina may have yet another trick up their sleeves to solve all this.
2. How does Gold plan to save David? And why couldn’t he have mentioned this sooner? C’mon, Gold — David’s been seriously stressing out over here. Give the guy some peace of mind already!
3. Will Gold eventually kill his dad? Or will the two reconcile? Heck, if Charlie Sheen and Martin Sheen can patch things up, any father-son combo should be able to do so.
Once Upon a Time airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.