More beans, please! In this week’s episode of Once Upon a Time (Season 2, Episode 13: “Tiny”), Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin (Robert Carlyle) has to resort to using Band-Aids like the rest of us, Charming (Josh Dallas) gets roped into helping Anton (Jorge Garcia), and Jack (Cassidy Freeman) learns that poison swords can have their drawbacks.
The Least Fun Road Trip Ever
Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Gold are heading to the airport for their not-so-relaxing getaway. And Henry (Jared Gilmore) is joining them, because who wouldn’t want to spend their free time on an unexplained road trip with Gold? However, when Regina (Lana Parrilla) learns that Henry has gone on the trip, she isn’t pleased — but then again, Regina doesn’t seem pleased all that often these days.
After chatting with Regina, Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Charming decide to find Cora (Barbara Hershey), so they first meet up with their new pal, Hook (Colin O’Donoghue). Hook leads them to his invisible ship and show them that Anton, the lone surviving giant, is in a cage and is much less giant-sized.
Anton is enraged when he sees Charming and threatens to kill him, as it turns out he’d been wronged by Charming’s twin brother, James. It’s a misunderstanding involving twins, meaning it’s all very Parent Trap-esque.
And Here We Thought Airport Security Was Just Annoying
Gold drives Emma and Henry beyond the Storybrooke boundary, but he retains his memories because of his magic shawl. Phew.
Unfortunately, Gold forgets about needing to take off his shawl for airport security. Emma tries to convince the security person to let Gold slide by saying something like, “His neck is really cold,” but to no avail. Perhaps the security person was worried about Gold being the infamous “Shawl Bomber” whom we’ve all heard so much about?
Regina learns about the (not-giant-sized) giant from Hook, and so she offers Anton a mushroom to get back to his scary, Hulk-esque stature. (“You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry I eat that mushroom.”) Regina reminds Anton that the only catch is the mushroom size won’t last forever — which certainly isn’t foreshadowing or anything, right?
Back in the airport, Gold excuses himself to the bathroom and takes out his frustration on the toilet seat covers. He bloodies his knuckles in the process, but when he tries to heal himself, he can’t! Removing his shawl also led to the removal of his powers, meaning his knuckles stay bloody. Sounds like he has to start using Obamacare like the rest of us.
A Hole Lot of Trouble
Anton is busy tossing cars around — which is good cardio, we assume — when he finds David and Snow. Emma isn’t around to verify that David has a twin brother, so David — whose Fairytale Land is (anticlimax alert!) also David — offers up himself to save the others. And now that Charming’s name is David, will we see him fighting Goliath anytime soon? Hmm.
Anyway, just as this happens, Anton falls into a sinkhole. Talk about good timing. But David, being the gentleman he is, agrees to grab a rope and save Anton from the hole. In return, Anton shows them his beanstalk stem (don’t worry — it’s not a euphemism), which can grow more beans.
The dwarves then give Anton his own pickaxe with “Tiny” on it (also not a euphemism), and they all start digging. A note to the dwarves: If you ever give us a gift, please don’t make it something that forces us to do manual labor.
Finally, we see Gold, Emma, and Henry all on the plane for New York, but Gold is freaking out about the loss of his powers. C’mon, Gold — you’re on a plane for the first time, which means you get to have all the tiny bags of pretzels you want! What’s not to like?
Belle Doesn’t Like What She’s Seen
Back in Storybrooke, Ruby (Meghan Ory) pays Belle (Emilie de Ravin) a visit in the hospital. As we might have suspected, Belle doesn’t remember Ruby, but Belle wants answers for why Gold was able to heal her and throw fireballs. If we were Ruby, we would have just said, “Wait — don’t all towns have a guy who can heal people and throw fireballs?”
The nurse gives Belle a sedative — because that’s the way people who ask questions deserve to be treated. But when Belle wakes up, she’s visited by Greg (Ethan Embry), who hit Hook with the car. Greg tells her she’s not crazy, as he saw the same things she did. It’s always comforting to know you’re not completely insane.
And are we the only ones who are worried about a romance between these two? Translation: Hurry back, Gold!
Bean There, Done That
In the Fairytale Land flashback, we meet Anton’s brothers, including Arlo, who all tease Anton for being smaller than they are. Apparently, body image issues are much different in the giant land than they are in present-day America.
Anton is obsessed with the human world, so he pays it a visit. It’s here where he meets James and Jacqueline, aka Jack, who give him a mushroom to make him human-sized. They befriend Anton, but they’re only using him to swipe the giants’ beans and save King George’s kingdom. Those bastards.
James and Jack sneak into Anton’s kingdom, where they proceed to stab the giants with poisoned swords. Jack stabs Arlo, but Arlo then grabs Jack and stabs her before he perishes. We see James grabbing a bunch of loot, but he leaves the ailing Jack behind. In case you were wondering, James is so not a gentleman.
Just before Arlo dies, he hands Anton the aforementioned piece of stem, which can be used to grow more beans. Looks like we’re about to get a bunch of new portals!
Three Biggest Mysteries of the Night:
— We know Cora is up to no good — given that she brought Anton to Storybrooke, and that, well, she’s Cora — but what exactly does she have in mind for the new beans? Also, we hear Regina tell Hook that Anton running amok in Storybrooke will be a welcome distraction, but what are she and Hook hoping to do during that distraction?
— Jack tells Anton she got a mushroom from a wise woman, so it’s safe to assume she’s referring to Alice, right? If so, how soon might we be meeting her? We pretty much can’t wait to see more of Wonderland, now that we know Cora is the Queen of Hearts. Yikes.
— Gold’s lack of magic might be a blessing in disguise, given that Baelfire hates magic. So will the fact that Gold no longer has magic mean Bae will finally be willing to reunite with him?
Or will Gold’s lack of powers somehow make it hard for him to track Bae down? If nothing else, we assume Gold’s powers would have been useful for magically hailing an NYC cab during rush hour. Getting a cab ain’t easy, people.
What did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments!