Burn, baby, burn! In this week’s Once Upon a Time (Season 2, Episode 7: “Child of the Moon”), we learn of an unusual way to get rid of mice, David (Josh Dallas) proves to be a talented wolf whisperer, and Red (Meghan Ory) and her mom don’t exactly end things on good terms.
Wherein the Dwarves Are Like, “I Wish We Could Just Buy Some Diamonds From Zales”
The town is ready to party, as Grumpy (Lee Arenberg) and the dwarves have stumbled upon diamonds in the mines. The diamonds can be ground up into fairy dust so that Jefferson's (Sebastian Stan) hat will bring back Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin). So the people of Storybrooke grind up all the diamonds they see? Yet another reason why Lil Wayne will never move to Storybrooke.
While everyone is getting their buzz on, we get reacquainted with Billy the cute mechanic, who tells Ruby that he was Gus, the mouse from Cinderella. (We’ve never been so attracted to a rodent before.) He asks Ruby out, but she politely declines, as tonight is a full moon, and she’s not usually in a sexy mood during full moons.
One person who is not drinking and being merry is Albert Spencer/King George (Alan Dale), who tells David/Charming that he plans to make the townspeople realize that David isn’t fit to run the town. To which David replies, “Sorry — what did you just say? I’m kinda drunk right now, so I stopped listening to you a while ago. Does anyone else feel like pizza?”
Granny (Beverley Elliott) and Ruby clear out the restaurant’s freezer so they can lock Ruby up overnight; her cloak didn’t end up in Storybrooke, and apparently you can’t just pick up a magical cloak at, say, Forever 21. The next morning, Granny sees that the freezer has been torn apart, and when they all learn that poor Billy is half the man he used to be, Ruby thinks she must be the culprit.
Wherein Everyone in Storybrooke Apparently Has Torches Lying Around, Ready To Light
Henry (Jared Gilmore) has another nightmare where he’s in a burning room, but this time it’s so realistic that he wakes up with burns on his skin. We don’t know about you, but usually when we talk about having smokin’ hot dreams, we mean something entirely different.
Forntaly, Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin (Robert Carlyle) knows what's going on. He explains that sleeping curse victims’ souls go to a “netherworld,” and even after the curse is broken, the victims can end up there during sleep. It’s kind of like the film Nightmare on Elm Street, except Johnny Depp sadly isn’t involved. But Gold gives Henry a necklace that will allow him to control his actions in the dream. Gold seriously comes up with the coolest jewelry ever.
Meanwhile, David believes that Ruby is innocent of billy's murder and is determined to find the real killer, but Ruby thinks she’s guilty, and her self-confidence isn’t helped by that angry mob that Albert has managed to bring together. Apparently, the residents of Storybrooke are ready to join a bloodthirsty mob at a moment’s notice.
So Ruby decides to give them what they want, heading out into the night after locking Belle (Emilie de Ravin) up in the library. (“Haven’t you always said you wanted some alone time to catch up on your reading, Belle?”)
Wherein Albert Proves Why You Shouldn’t Keep Valuables in Your Trunk
David and Granny aren’t willing to let mob rule dictate Storybrooke just yet, so they do what anyone would do who’s trying to convince people to obey the law: They break into someone’s car. In Albert’s trunk, they find Ruby’s red hood and a murder weapon, meaning he had stashed it and killed Billy himself.
Luckily, David and Granny find the mob just before it attacks Ruby. (A note to the mob: Do you really need torches? It’s 2012 — use a flashlight.) Albert tries to shoot Ruby, but Granny handles him with a crossbow (that is one feisty old lady!), and David calmly reminds Ruby’s wolf self that she’s in charge. He then uses her cloak to turn her back to a human. That’s our David!
Albert has tiptoed away, so David gives chase. When he catches him, Albert has decided to start a campfire, but sadly, it’s not for cuddling next to — it’s for roasting hats, specifically Jefferson’s, which is needed to retrieve Emma and Snow. David almost shoots Albert but doesn’t, because he's noble and whatnot.
Meanwhile, we briefly catch up with the ladies in Fairytale Land, and we realize that Aurora (Sarah Bolger) is having the same fiery nightmare as Henry, but in this one, Henry is wearing that stylish necklace, so he’s able to introduce himself to her. It’s always nice to make friends, even at the risk of smoke inhalation.
And We Thought Our Family Reunions Can Get Tense
In this week’s flashback to Fairytale Land, Red meets a mysterious dude named Quinn, who turns out to be a werewolf like she is. He takes her through an underground hatch (can someone say “Lost”?), where a whole colony of their kind has taken to living in this underground castle. Enter Anita, Red’s mom.
It turns out that Anita wasn’t killed by hunters, as Granny had claimed, but instead has learned to control her actions as a wolf by embracing her true nature. She tells Red that, if Red does the same, she won’t need the red hood anymore, and she can feel the exhilaration of the wind through her fur. Plus, when you’re a wolf, you can pee wherever you want, so there’s that.
Snow manages to catch up to Red and sneaks into the castle, which Quinn is less than thrilled about. Red informs Snow that she’s going to stay underground with her mom, but suddenly the queen’s men burst in, firing an arrow into Quinn. Quinn, we hardly knew ye.
Anita blames Snow for Quinn’s death, and so she ties Snow up to eat her. Bad times. Anita turns herself into a wolf and pounces at Snow, but Red turns into a wolf just in time and is able to protect Snow. Unfortunately, Anita ends up getting stabbed in the chest and as she dies, she says that Red chose Snow over her. Way to leave your daughter with a clean conscience.
Snow and Red visit Anita’s grave, and Snow laments that she, too, knows the pain of losing family. However, Red tells her that Snow is more like family to her, since she’s the only one who encourages Red to embrace both sides of her identity. Aww!
Three Biggest Mysteries of the Night:
1. Why did Granny lie to Red about her parents being killed by hunters? We get that both Granny and Anita seemed to have different viewpoints on how to deal with their wolf side, and Granny presumably didn’t want Red growing up thinking violence against humans is okay. Still, we would have liked to hear more about Granny’s relationship with Anita.
2. It appears that Henry’s dream world can be used as a portal, but how exactly will that happen? Our guess is that Henry will be able to bring fairy dust into the netherworld and hand it over to Aurora, who will then bring the fairy dust back to Fairytale Land and combine it with the wardrobe’s ashes. Then again, on this show, nothing is quite that simple.
3. Will Red ever find true love — or was Peter her true love, and now he’s gone? Frankly, Emma has so many eligible suitors clamoring for her that it only makes sense that Red gets at least one. And speaking of which, why does this show insist on killing off all the hotties? First Graham, then Philip (although he’s rumored to return), now Billy? Enough already!
Catch the next new episode of Once Upon a Time on Sunday, November 25 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
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