Did you hear? Jersey Shore’s Pauly D has a kid! It’s OK if you didn’t know that, because Paul “DJ Pauly D” Delvecchio seems to have only found out about it recently himself. The 33-year-old former cast member has been spinning records at clubs across town, and in the process, met a 26-year-old Jersey native — who gave birth to their baby girl a couple months ago! Naturally, our minds wander to what it would be like to be Pauly D’s daughter, and how he will be as a dad.
She Can Rely on Her Old Man’s Money
Pauly recently made the Forbes list of the World’s Highest-Paid DJs for 2013 (who knew such a thing existed?!), coming in at number 12 by raking in $13 million last year. (Yes, that’s right, 12 people made more money spinning records last year, you guys. 12.) What does that mean for his daughter? Uh, we’re guessing she’ll want for nothing. The boy likes to do it big, so we can only imagine the crib she’ll get as a little kid… and the one he’ll buy her as an adult.
Hair So Fly It’ll Touch the Sky
Have you seen Paul’s hair? No, like, we know you’ve seen his hair, but have you ever really taken the time to examine it? It’s a thing of beauty, a work of art, an oeuvre d’arte right there, on top of his tan head. His daughter better believe that she’s going to be swimming in pomade and hair gel (except not really, because we’ve tried it and it’s sticky). In fact, when Pauly D went on tour with the Backstreet Boys, he brought along an entire shelf of hair products. Speaking of which...
Name-Dropping For Days
Pauly knows all the cool celebs in town: From AJ McLean to all the other guys in the band who are more famous than AJ McLean, Pauly’s got the boy band intro thing on lock. Let’s hope boy bands are still cool when his daughter’s a teenager so that he can introduce her and get cool dad points. (Who are we kidding, boy bands will always be cool.) Plus, you’d better believe the first thing we thought of was that this child is going to date Snooki’s son, be best friends with North West, and pretty much rule the school (in this scenario, they all go to one school, OK) with a chain from Pauly’s personal collection. Because he is going to share everything with her.
Bad Girls Got Her Back
Pauly can teach his daughter everything about women, because he has known plenty of women. But just in case he doesn’t have what it takes, and his daughter’s mama is busy or whatever, P Daddy has the perfect person to help out his lil one: Nicki Minaj. The girl just showed him love sporting his tee, like, three months ago. The next step is obviously helping his daughter with love advice.
Threads With Mad Street Cred
Pauly has a clothing line, as we mentioned, called Dirty Couture, which feature sayings like “Love Dirty.” All he has to do is add one word to it, turn that tee into a little onesie, and he could make bank to add to that 13 mill. We can see it now: Love Dirty Diapers. We accept check or cash, Pauly.
How do you think he’s going to do as a daddy? Weigh in below!