Bachelor 2014 Power Rankings: Clare Crawley Regains Top Spot in New Zealand!
The Bachelor 18 is winding down (NOOOOOOO), and it's only a matter of weeks before Juan Pablo Galavis bestows his final rose upon one of his sister wives. This Latin lover boy has six women left in his harem, and each of them is better than the next. How is Juan Pablo going to choose, guys? His life is so hard! Luckily, we're here to help El Bachelor by ranking the top three leading ladies in his tribe based on wife-ability, personality, and ability to defy death.
Do you agree with our top three power players? Sound off in the comments!
Name: Sharleen Joynt
Pros: Juan Pablo seems super into Sharleen despite her obvious disinterest in him, and we can see her making him happy in his mind para siempre (it means “forever”). Unfortunately, Sharleen is totally grossed out by Juan Pablo, so… time for a few cons!
Cons: Sure, Sharleen loves it when Juan Pablo unbridles his passion all over her tongue, but she doesn't seem to be connecting with him on an… how do we say this… intellectual level. This girl has straight-up admitted that she and Juan Pablo might be too different, and she even admitted she’s ready to bounce, like, yesterday. So, why is she on this list? Because Juan Pablo is none the wiser, and his blind love for Sharleen gives her a major edge.
Pros: Nikki's relationship with Juan Pablo is a fine balance of sexual tension and reflective musings. In other words, she's the whole package. Did you see the way Nikki and Juan Pablo made out in that giant inflatable hamster ball? It was almost cute, if they hadn't been tumbling down a poo-filled hill toward certain death. While we aren't sure that Nikki has the same hold on Juan Pablo as her arch nemesis, Clare Crawley, there's no doubt that this girl and her 90s-style panty hoes know what's up when it comes to lassoing a super stud.
Cons: We have a few concerns about Nikki, least of which is the fact that she is sexually attracted to Juan Pablo's alter-ego Scarf Pablo. Our main fear is that Nikki isn't prepared to have children. This girl is still in her 20s, and hardly seems like she's ready to become a) a stepmom, or b) an actual mom to a bunch of Juan Pablo's scarf-wearing babies.
Pros: Now that Juan Pablo has seen Clare in harem pants, there's just no stopping her. Juan Pablo loves this girl even more than he loves throwing sheep feces at bikini clad ladies, and that's saying a lot. We have a feeling Clare will make it to the final frontier of Juan Pablo's love journey despite Ocean Hookup Gate 2014, and at this point we'd be shocked if she didn't make it into his final three.
Cons: Juan Pablo and Clare have an amazing(ly gross) physical relationship, but there's more to love than 4 a.m. makeout sessions in Vietnam. We're not sure Juan Pablo and Clare are connecting on a deeper level, and so the mysterious DVD her father made her may just remain unseen until the end of time.