Ranking: 9 (out of 9) Last week: 3 (out of 10) Pretty: Talk about a precipitous fall from her position on last week’s Power Rankings! At least Emily pretended to like her scarf! (What Maya doesn’t know can’t hurt her, right?) Ugly: Getting dumped by Emily? That’s painful. But getting dumped by Emily for her burgeoning relationship with Toby the Weirdo? That takes “painful” to a whole new level!
Ranking: 8 Last week: N/A Pretty: We’re not exactly going to complain about that cheesecake shot of him riding a bike! Ugly: That was an uncharacteristically petty display in the classroom, where he argued with Aria. And if we were Ezra, we wouldn’t make a big deal about owning a typewriter, at least until the flap about who wrote that seemingly typewriter-written note to Aria’s mom blows over — especially considering how much he knows about Aria’s parents!
Ranking: 7 Last week: N/A Pretty: She looked fabulous while getting ready for dinner with her ex-husband and her daughter, Hanna. Too bad she wasn’t actually invited! This was almost the most blatant example of someone attending something without getting invited since the social-climbing couple who party-crashed the Indian state dinner with Obama last year! Ugly: Her ex-husband is engaged to a sophisticated, well-heeled woman, while she’s dating some shady police officer who walks around shirtless and threatens her own daughter. Gee, we wonder who won came out on top in that breakup?
Ranking: 6 Last week: 10 Pretty: Let’s hope she enjoyed her trip to the Jolly Roger amusement park! That’s about as much fun as she was going to have this week. Ugly: Sean is MIA, Hanna will have to be working for his dad to pay off the car repairs, and now she has Isabel and step-sister-from-hell/sailor extraordinaire Kate to deal with, who offered to take her out on the most unpleasant boat trip since A Perfect Storm.
Ranking: 5 Last week: 7 Pretty: She got that tasty carrot as a snack — she’s gotta get her Vitamin A somehow. Plus, she can always be thankful that her mom is Ella, and not her crazy, taxidermy-happy Aunt Ruth. We can just picture Aunt Ruth asking, “Who wants to pet Mugsy next?” Ugly: She already had a rocky relationship with her dad, and now it’s looking like Mom isn’t a big fan of hers, either. Plus, you know you’re having a bad day in English class when even that weaselly Sperling knocks you down a peg! Ouch!
Ranking: 4 Last week: N/A Pretty: He seems to have a sensitive side, as he comforts Emily when he runs into her near her trash cans. Now, why exactly he was hanging out beside her trash cans is another matter altogether! Ugly: It’s not exactly fun to get your locker filled with shaving cream. Then again, on the bright side, he can save money on Gillette products for a while!
Ranking: 3 Last week: 5 Pretty: Bringing over that flowering plant was pretty romantic. Being too drunk to hold it without dropping it was far less romantic. Ugly: With the way he mishandled that flower pot, no one is exactly going to confuse him for an expert botanist. Let’s just say that he’s certainly no George Washington Carver.
Ranking: 2 Last week: 1 Pretty: Sure, she’s not exactly thrilled about word getting around about her kiss with Maya, but they say that any publicity is good publicity, right? (And a note to Emily: Those pictures could suddenly make you very popular. Just sayin’.) Ugly: Looks like she’s just endured her second breakup in a row, with this one with Maya following last week’s parting of ways with Ben. Hopefully, she’ll hook up with Toby next week and then quickly end things in the same episode, making it three-for-three!
Ranking: 1 Last week: 8 Pretty: She gets her first week in the top slot on the Power Rankings with that kiss from Wren! Plus, not having her mom or sister around must have made for a pretty swell week as well! (But how is it that nobody talked Spencer into having a kegger with the ‘rents out-of-town?! We thought for sure that last week’s party-thrower Noel would step in with some party-throwing pointers! No wonder no one finds this show realistic.) Ugly: Yes, it’s scary to know that “A” snuck into her house to write that message on the mirror in lipstick, but even scarier is thinking about how long it’s gonna take to clean that mirror off!