Hogs and kisses! In this week’s shocking Season 4 premiere of Pretty Little Liars (Season 4, Episode 1: "'A' Is for A-l-i-v-e"), Detective Wilden has grimaced at the girls for the last time, Emily is becoming a California girl (cue the Katy Perry song), and the Liars apparently decide not to trust anyone who wears a veil to a funeral.
Wherein Spencer Gives “Kisses” a Call
Wilden's dead! Crazy! So we’re hoping Mona was in the room with Wilden’s coffin because she's being targeted by “A” and not because she herself is working with "A" or Red Coat. (Stay away from Hanna's mom, "A"!) We also can’t blame Spencer for being suspicious of Mona’s claim that both Wilden and Melissa Hastings were dressed as the Queen of Hearts — given that we don’t actually see Melissa’s face in the video.
So who was with Spencer and Toby amidst the lodge wreckage? Is it safe to assume that Red Coat not only saved the girls but is also the one who burned it down, given that Toby saw that red coat? And why didn’t Toby just snag the coat when the firefighter wasn’t looking?! We’re also wondering if we’ll learn anything about that Thonrhill matchbook that Spencer picked up.
Wherein Aria Imagines Ezra In Handcuffs — and Not In a Sexy Way
This show loves a good ol’ fashioned misdirect, as when Aria and her oh-so-vivid imagination led us to believe that Ezra was getting hauled off to the gray bar hotel. Even though it was all her head, the daydream makes Aria realize it’s time to see other people. Sob! Long story short: We’ve got a hug with your name on it, Ezria fans.
Wherein Hanna Gets a Chip Off the Old Mona
So can we trust Mona or not? It’s seeming these days like we can, especially once Mona swipes the chip from the video in Wilden’s car and hands it over to Hanna. But did she really refrain from copying it, like she claims?
And by the way, we can’t be the only ones who found the “big reveal” of the pig in the trunk to be a letdown, as it sort of felt like a cop out. (Get it — “cop out”? Because Wilden was a cop, and now he’s dead?) Either way, talking about dead pigs suddenly has us in the mood for bacon — but we’re basically always in the mood for bacon.
Wherein Emily Is Feeling Some California Love, Meaning Tupac Would Be Proud
We’ve taken our time jumping onboard Team Paily, given that Paige always manages to gain and then lose our trust. But we loved the scene between them this week, with Emily and Paige exchanging “I love yous” as Paige talks up Stanford. We’re not sure that Emily really strikes us as a California girl, but she didn’t really strike us as a Texas girl either.
One of the most mysterious scenes of the episode involved Emily happening to run into Jenna, who says she didn’t mean to hurt Toby. So does this mean she was the one who attacked Toby outside of the lodge in the Season 3 finale? And why is Jenna’s hand burned? Somehow, we don’t see her as the type to be making s’mores, which is the only way that we've ever burned our hands.
— The biggest clue this week involves the identity of Red Coat — who appears to also be the person at the funeral in the black veil, whom we will cleverly refer to as, uh, Black Veil. We see that Black Veil is wearing an Ali mask, and that the mask is burned, suggesting that it wasn’t actually the real Ali who saved the Liars from the fire. And so the mysteries continue.
— Speaking of new mysteries, Wilden’s death was a reasonably big shocker, along with the fact that he was one of the Queens of Hearts. But who killed him? It appears that Jenna didn’t do it, since she’s worried that she’ll also die, given that she saw Ali on the night of her death. So was Melissa involved in his death — or maybe it was CeCe, whom we saw in the car with Wilden recently?
— Wilden’s funeral brought its own set of head-scratchers. Like, was there a reason why Ezra was with Maggie at the funeral? Sure, we get that he might have just been supporting the community, but his presence at this funeral and previously at Ali’s makes us a bit suspicious.
— Mona was full of information at the start of the episode, as she informed us that she didn’t know who killed Ian, that Lucas gave Emily the massage, and that Jenna and Shana go way back. So can we trust Mona, specifically that she doesn’t know about Ian’s death? Hmm.
— What’s the deal with Mrs. Dilaurentis’s return — not to mention that she was staring at Spencer through her window? And given her comment to Hanna about her weight, we see that the apple does not fall far from the tree. Plus, speaking of moms, did Ali do something to Toby’s?
Other Things That Need to Be Discussed:
— How adorable was “dorky Toby”? Answer: The most adorable thing ever! Granted, we’re Spoby fans for life, but don’t blame us for wanting to see a few more Toby-Ali scenes, just to see more gel in his hair. (Team Tali unite!)
— Hanna was this close to earning our “Most Embarrassing Outfit of the Week” Award with her jaunty beret, but we’re instead giving it to Aria’s pink camo jacket over her dress with that amoeba-like design. Then again, if camouflage can keep the girls safe from "A," we’re all for it.
— When it comes to hot guys, this show has a way of opening a window when it closes a door. So while we might miss seeing Wilden’s brooding bad-boy self from time to time, the show more than made up for his absence with the introduction of the extremely yummy Officer Holbrook. This new officer can serve and protect us any day of the week.
What do you think of the premiere? Sound off in the comment below!