Grab your wig and put on your heart-shaped sunglasses! In this week’s surprise-packed (not to mention steamy!) episode of Pretty Little Liars (Season 2, Episode 18: “A Kiss Before Lying”), Emily (Shay Mitchell)y seemingly loses her v-card; Rosewood High experiences a little sexting scandal; and Holden (Shane Coffey) has the exact type of bruise that someone might have who was hit by Hanna’s car (hint, hint!).
Wherein Emily Realizes That She’s Crazy For Maya — Even If Her Mom Isn’t.
Sure, Maya’s (Bianca Lawson) display in her room was pretty romantic, even if did sorta remind us of a cheesy “Under the Sea”-themed school dance that we may or may not have attended in our middle school’s gymnasium. We’re still not 100% sold that Maya’s right for Emily, since we weren’t impressed by Maya’s passive-aggressive display at dinner. Still, that make-out sesh was so hot that if Maya’s room really were filled with water, it would have turned to steam by now.
And what are we to make of Noel’s (Brant Daugherty) encounter with Maya as Emily entered the restaurant? At first, we felt our stomachs turn as we thought for a split-second that Noel was perhaps a former fling of Maya’s. It now seems that they hadn’t met before, but what could Noel want with Maya? Let’s just say we’re guessing he’s not recruiting her to play smooth jazz music at his next social function or anything.
Wherein Hanna Reminisces About Vivian.
Is it just us, or is Caleb (Tyler Blackburn) now in the lead for the title of “Best Significant Other in Rosewood” (don’t hate us, Toby [Keegan Allen] and Ezra [Ian Harding] fans!). The guy proved his mettle by charging right up to Jenna’s (Tammin Sursok) house after hearing that she might be the one tormenting Hanna’s (Ashley Benson) family for not having the most sound financial strategy. And a note to the Marins: Stacks of cash shouldn’t be kept in lasagna boxes — they should be kept in banks (or if you’re really cool, maybe in briefcases).
Sometimes, the flashbacks that the girls have are to moments that we’re shocked that they never told their fellow Liars about, and this episode’s flashback to Hanna seeing Alison (Sasha Pieterse) at a salon with a dark wig and phony moniker is definitely one of them. And when Hanna admits that she stole the book Lolita from Ali, we couldn’t help but think that Hanna is the biggest klepto ever. Seriously — how much do used paperbacks cost? Fifty cents at the most?
You would think — considering how elated these girls were to stumble upon “A”’s Blackberry — that they would know not to let “A” have similar access to their own phones. Sadly, Hanna learned that lesson the hard way, as that Girls Gone Wild-esque shot of her stepsister Kate (Natalie Hall) gets forwarded to the entire school, just as Kate and Hanna were seeming to be on decent footing. (Perhaps “A” is actually Hugh Hefner?)
Wherein Aria Clearly Does Not Feel That Girls Should Let Their Dates Win at Air Hockey.
Just how gullible trusting is Aria (Lucy Hale) when it comes to Holden? Because if we were Aria and we knew that our friend had recently hit someone with her car (in Season 2, Episode 14: "Through Many Dangers, Toils, and Snares") — and that we met a super-sketchy guy who happens to have a massive bruise on his side and who showed up in town right when the accident took place — we would start to raise our eyebrows a bit. But maybe Aria’s still on cloud nine from kicking so much butt at air hockey (after Ezra was M.I.A.).
Speaking of Ezra, we knew Papa Byron (Chad Lowe) wasn’t a card-carrying member of the Mr. Fitz fan club (which just means there’s more room in the fan club for us!), but who knew he would go to such extremes just to get the guy out of his daughter’s life? And Ezra isn’t your typical “where’s the party at?”-type of twentysomething guy, meaning he’s probably the only male on the face of the planet for whom a trip to New Orleans would feel like a punishment.
Wherein Spencer Proves That She Never Forgets a Face — Even a Bug Bite-Covered One.
We know Spencer (Troian Bellisario) can be a bit awkward in social settings, but we’re pretty sure that randomly shouting the word “debate” — as Spence did when trying to remember where she recognized Kate from — was a new low even for her. Still, we’re impressed that she managed to remember that Kate and big sis Melissa (Torrey DeVitto) were at the same horse camp. And by the way, having to be in the woods with Kate and Melissa sounds scarier than being in the camp from those Jason movies.
It sucks to be Hanna this week, as she was feeling about as abandoned as a sock that got lost in the dryer. So we were relieved to see Hanna and Spencer finally hug it out, even after Hanna freaked when she stumbled on that pic of Ali’s fake I.D. that Caleb found. And seeing as how Spencer doesn’t even have Toby’s (Keegan Allen) truck to remember him by anymore, we’re thinking that her hug with Hanna may be the only physical human interaction she gets for quite sometime.
The episode ends with two huge mysteries surrounding Spencer. One involves whatever might be exchanged for that claim ticket of Ali’s, which Spencer calls about. And the second mystery is what “A” has planned for that gun from Mr. Hastings’ desk, not to mention why it was there in the first place. Uh, maybe it’s just a starter pistol, and “A” is planning to start training for a marathon? (Sure, we’ll say it’s that.)
- If you ask us, the biggest clue this week seems to be Holden’s giant bruise, suggesting that he was working for “A” and was the hoodie-wearing creepazoid who bounced off the hood of Hanna’s car. Then again, knowing this show, there will probably be some completely random, red-herring explanation for the bruise that will leave us frustrated and baffled (like there was for Lucas’ [Brendan Robinson] rowboat antics).
- So is Holden the person whom Garret (Yani Gellman) is referring to when he tells Caleb that Jenna has found a replacement for Caleb’s old job? Or is the replacement perhaps Noel, who continues his odd behavior this week by hitting on Maya? The girls refer to Noel as Jenna’s “eyes,” much as Mona’s commented about Noel’s eyes last week, which is quite reminiscent of the “pretty eyes” comment from the waitress about “A” earlier this season, no?
- If you’re not fully convinced yet that Holden is evil enough to work for “A,” then surely there’s no question that Garrett is about as evil as they come. In fact, we couldn’t help but think — when Garrett seemed to threaten to hit Caleb with his car — that perhaps this was a reference to when “A” ran over Hanna with a car. Maybe this is Garrett’s specialty?
- We’re starting to feel fairly confident that Ali’s twin will show up on the show at some point, so we can’t help but keep our eyes peeled for any and all hints to that effect. Therefore, when we see Ali experimenting with other names and hairstyles, we wonder if this is perhaps the work of her identity-stealing twin.
- We’re still not fully convinced that Maya is to be trusted, despite the fact that it was pretty adorable when she and Emily exchanged “I love yous.” We’re still worried that the mystery man from Maya’s past will prove to be someone who’s up to no good. (Then again, can someone who wants to order a brownie sundae for dessert — as Maya suggested — really be all that bad? We think not.)
Other Things That Need to be Discussed:
- We know that Aria doesn’t exactly live life on the edge or anything most of the time, but c’mon - her favorite pizza toppings are half plain, half green peppers? Talk about boring!
- Because we’ve been inspired by the hair salon where Hanna spots “Vivian,” we’re now only going to go to hair places that give out free cappuccinos. (But unlike Ali, we like them sweet.)
- An episode of PLL without some kind of literary reference is like an episode of The Bachelor without someone crying for absolutely no reason. And tonight was no exception, as the girls discuss Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, which is about a literature professor who becomes involved with an underage girl. Remind you of any couple on this show?
Be sure to tune in for the next episode of Pretty Little Liars on Monday, February 6 at 8 pm ET/PT on ABC Family.
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