Spencer (Troian Bellisario) has had it with these motherf**king snakes in this motherf**king dressing room!
In this week’s Pretty Little Liars (Season 3, Episode 11: “Single Fright Female”), Alison gets a kick out of Paige, the Flash Drive of Doom is back, and Aria (Lucy Hale) is annoyed that she now has to buy Ezra a birthday present and a Father’s Day present.
Wherein Spencer Realizes That Changing Clothes Can Be a Pain in the Asp
This series has provided plenty of scary scenes over the years, but a snake attack is a whole new level. And who was responsible for putting it in the dressing room? It certainly seems like Paige (Lindsey Shaw) may have been involved, since Spencer had made that “snake” comment about Paige. By the way, we’re not crazy about CeCe, but it was pretty hilarious to see her go after the snake with that mannequin leg. She's a lot more comfortable around snakes than Indiana Jones is.
And the other big shocker involving Spencer was when she rifled through Paige’s bag and found the earring that Ali (Sasha Pieterse) and Aria had discovered in Byron's (Chad Lowe) office, which Aria then put in Ali’s grave. We knew that Paige had admitted to seeing Em on “that night,” but now it looks like Paige might have actually been involved in digging up Ali’s body.
Wherein Hanna and Her Mom Realize They’ll Soon Need to Call Their Garbage-Disposal Repair Guy
We did find Hanna (Ashley Benson) and Wren (Julian Morris) mighty cute last week, but the universe just feels more harmonious when Caleb (Tyler Blackburn) and Hanna are making googly eyes at each other, as they did in that oh-so-precious computer scene. Plus, we give points to Spencer for hilariously referring to Wren as “Downton Grabby.” Who knew that the Liars watched PBS?
And don’t get us started about that smokin’ hot scene in which Caleb puts his hand over Hanna’s mouth in the dressing room after Spencer saw the snake, and then says that he wants to touch her. We’re starting to perspire just thinking about it! (Caleb’s like, “I want to touch you, and I want to show you a different kind of snake than the kind Spencer saw — if you get my drift. [Caleb winks.]”)
What exactly is Hanna’s mom referring to when she says Hanna only knows about “some” of what happened on the night that Wilden (Bryce Johnson) came over? We don't think we want to know. But we do love it when Hanna and her mom are as cute as they were this week, with Hanna taking the fall for her mom by claiming to have destroyed the videos.
Wherein Aria Wants to Say, “Happy Birthday, Ezra! You’ve Been Living a Lie! More Cake?”
Who’s your daddy? In this case, it’s looking as though Ezra actually fathered a son named Malcolm, although Maggie doesn’t tell Ezra over the phone and says that she lives alone. And we finally get to meet the infamous (not to mention ridiculously peppy) Maggie, who seems way different than Ezra's other ex, Jackie, in that Maggie isn’t a deranged psychopath.
We’re never going to complain about the chance to drool over look at Wes on the show, but we think that Aria is right to be suspicious of him and his possible ulterior motive for telling her about Maggie in the first place. Plus, if we were Aria, we’d be kinda freaked out that Paige was carrying around the earring that had been found in Byron’s office (and was in Ali’s grave). Accessories are not supposed to cause this much controversy.
Wherein Emily Realizes She And Nate Aren’t Quite On The Same Page About That Kiss
We learned a lot of sketchy things about Paige the Mannequin-Finger Breaker this week, but we have to at least give her props for standing up to the all-around terror that was Alison. It certainly takes guts to kick Ali when she’s down (literally). We’re also surprised that Paige seemed (relatively) calm as Emily (Shay Mitchell) told her the truth about kissing Nate. (Translation: Unlike last week, no trash cans were harmed by Paige in the making of this week’s episode.)
Still, poor Emily has seriously the worst luck in the world when it comes to romance. Even if Paige isn’t on the “A” team (and it certainly seems that she could be, now that she has a motive), it’s weird that Em never realized that Paige and Ali knew each other. And speaking of creepy people, don’t get us started on Nate, who we think is faking the whole “I’m Maya’s cousin” thing, and appears to have some mysterious connection to Jenna (Tammin Sursok). Gulp.
- We’re getting so freakin’ close to the summer season finale! Needless to say, we have a ton to discuss. For us, the craziest new info came in the form of the flashbacks, where we learned that Ali and Paige were so not besties. Paige kicked Ali in the back and gave her a bruise the size of Texas, and then Ali tricked Paige into writing a love letter to Emily and swiped it from her. Ah, high school — good times, right?
- The fact that Paige felt so angry toward Ali is especially intriguing given that Mona's (Janel Parrish) motivation for becoming “A” was quite similar. And how crazy was it to actually see fear in Ali’s eyes when she walked away from Paige in that flashback and implored CeCe to speed away! You have to be pretty darn creepy to scare Ali.
- Paige clearly knows more about “that night” than she’s letting on, as Spencer finds the earring in her bag. It seems Paige was with Emily at the grave, instead of Em having snuck out of Paige’s house that night as Paige claimed. But why would Paige then carry the earring around with her? And how was Spencer able to find a loose earring in her bag that quickly? It usually takes us about a year to find our keys in our purse, and we’re the ones who put them in there.
- Paige is plenty sketchy in the present-day, too, as she ignores Spencer’s call for Emily at the end of the episode, not to mention that it would make sense for Paige to have been responsible for that snake, given Spencer’s “snake” comment about her. But is Paige really part of the “A” team? It feels a bit too obvious a choice to make her the “betrayer” in next week’s episode. (Then again, Mona as “A” felt like the obvious choice, and we know how that turned out...)
- One more reason to be suspicious of Paige: Spencer points out that she could have easily swiped the missing “L.J.” knife from under Emily’s bed. (Yes, the finger-pointing at Paige just didn’t let up this week!) Again, we think that’s too obvious a choice, so we wonder if Jenna might have stolen the knife, since maybe Jenna was planning to sneak into Emily’s house again at the end of the episode until Emily spotted her.
- And just who was Jenna referring to when she told Emily to be very careful around her “friend”? Jenna told Emily this while Paige was nearby, but we actually think that Jenna was referring to Nate, not Paige. Clearly, Jenna and Nate have spent some time together, since Nate freaked out when he learned that Jenna had been faking her blindness, as he shouted “I know you saw me” at Jenna. Way to play it cool, buddy.
- So at this point, is it safe to just assume that Nate isn’t actually Maya’s cousin and is in fact the stalker guy who wouldn’t leave her alone? His comment about Maya having turned down tons of other guys makes it appear that Nate had a thing for Maya, not to mention that the way he demanded Emily go on another date made him seem just plain creepy.
- We’re relieved that Hanna’s mom tossed that flash drive into the garbage disposal, but we still wish that she’d get a clue and dump Ted. We’ve been saying for weeks now that Ted is clearly in cahoots with Wilden, and now we're thinking that Wilden wanted him to confront Ms. Marin with the videos in order to force some kind of confession out of Hanna.
- Thankfully, Ms. Marin got rid of the flash drive, since she didn’t want a sex tape of herself to get leaked (which is apparently one of many ways that Ms. Marin differs from Kim Kardashian). Side note: between this episode and the episode in Season 2 when Hanna threw a flash drive in the blender and turned it on, it appears that the Marin women are not crazy about data files.
- Nate points out the fact that Emily is riding a bike, which turns out to be Paige’s. The show made such a big deal out of this bike that we suspect it might be a clue. Could it be connected to the bike that Maya was riding in the surveillance footage at Noel’s cabin in last week’s episode?
Other Things That Need To Be Discussed:
- We admit that Hanna’s raccoon shirt was pretty adorable this week, but does Hanna not realize that raccoons are known to be thieves? Hanna would probably be wise to not provide people with subliminal messages that connect her to stealing.
- Spencer was definitely pleased that CeCe attacked that snake with a mannequin leg as if she was playing Whac-a-Mole, but we can assume that CeCe won’t be asked to join PETA anytime soon.
- We love Ezra, but watching him blow out the candles in front of just his brother and his underaged girlfriend while listening to Hootie and the Blowfish would qualify as the “World’s Saddest Birthday Party.” However, we could look at pictures of Young Ezra — like that one of him in the kayak — all day long! He was just so pinchable!
Catch the summer finale of PLL on Tuesday, August 28 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC Family.
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