Assault with a deadly pizza box! In this week’s Pretty Little Liars (Season 3, Episode 18: “Dead to Me”), Emily (Shay Mitchell) recalls some seriously messed-up memories, Hanna (Ashley Benson) channels her inner Maury Povich by tracking down Caleb's (Tyler Blackburn) dad, and teacher-student relationships appear to run in Ezra’s (Ian Harding) family.
Wherein Emily Is Seeing Red — A Red Coat, That Is
We’ve been fairly confident Alison (Sasha Pieterse) or her twin is on the “A” team, and it seems we’ve been given a major hint about it this week, as Emily remembers seeing a blonde girl in a red coat who seemed to be calling the shots on the night someone dug up Ali’s grave.
Another flashback reveals Emily and Ali looking at postcards of Paris, which Emily later placed in Ali’s casket. However, the postcards are now in the possession of the “A” team, and one has been sent to the police department with a threatening message written in French. It looks like French can be the language of love and the language of blackmail.
We got the return of Dr. Sullivan (Annabeth Gish), and there’s no doubt she’s super-sketchy. Mona (Janel Parrish) gives her a flower and thanks her for something, which suggests, while Dr. Sullivan was kidnapped by “A,” she did something to harm our girls. Let’s hope it doesn’t take the girls as long to get a clue about Dr. Sullivan as it has for them to get wise to Toby (Keegan Allen).
Wherein Spencer Realizes Toby Loves Her Not
Rosewood seems to have a mind-boggling number of creepy people who are willing to do anything for a little cash, which is true for the weirdo whom Spencer (Troian Bellisario) hires to follow Toby’s every sketchy move. So many weirdos in one town!
But the private investigator does discover that Toby has spent more money on hydrangeas than Martha Stewart would. The investigator leads Spencer to the room which the “A” key unlocks — but to Spencer’s disappointment, it’s filled with Toby’s old mattress and other junk, as opposed to flowers for his beloved Spence. As it turns out, Toby bought the hydrangeas for his mom's grave. Okay, so that is sweet, but we still hate him.
And because Spencer is in such a gloriously terrible mood, she drops in on Jason’s (Drew Van Acker) meeting with the girls in the mausoleum to say goodbye to Ali’s remains. There, Spencer drops a little nugget of info on Jason to let him know Ali was knocked up by Detective Wilden (Bryce Johnson). Uh-oh. (Deep breaths, Jason!)
Wherein Hanna Puts On Her Shed-Cleaning Overalls
So what was the most squeal-worthy Haleb moment this week? No, it wasn’t Hanna helping Caleb figure out who his dad is (maybe our Hanna is smarter than she looks!), although that was pretty sweet. Actually, our favorite Hanna-Caleb moment was seeing the cheek-pinchingly adorable pic of Caleb at six months old. It’s true: Caleb is a cutie at any age.
We’re also relieved that Haleb seems to be on firm ground this week, which is nice considering so many other couples are in shambles. Plus, we weren’t so certain about Haleb after last week, when Hanna found out he had something to do with planting that brain in Mona’s locker. So it’s nice to know that stolen organs aren’t necessarily a deal-breaker for every couple.
Wherein Aria Learns That Wes Is a Wee Bit More Aggressive Than His Big Brother
We now know Ezra isn’t the only one in the family who’s fed up with his mom, as his brother Wes is so willing to break away from his family that he hits on his cougar-ish physics teacher and then takes out her husband with the box of leftover pizza. Whatever works.
And if we were Aria (Lucy Hale), we would have said, “I know that pizza box is probably bloody from being used as a blunt object, but I’ll still wanna eat it later.” What can we say? Pizza is pizza.
By the way, if you tell us you’re now shipping Wes and Aria, we’re officially not your friend anymore. Okay, so maybe that’s a little harsh. But even though Wes clearly has the hots for Aria — and they would be cute together (not to mention age-appropriate) — we still think Wes is creepy. We may be naive, but we’re holding out hope for an Ezria reunion. Have faith.
— So did we just learn that Ali or her twin is leading the “A” team, given what Emily said about the blonde in the red coat running the show?
— Then again, perhaps the blonde in the red coat is not Ali but CeCe (Vanessa Ray)? Either way, whenever this show makes a point of giving us a clue, it’s usually a red herring, so we’ll take that under consideration (and no, “red” herring wasn’t meant as red coat-related wordplay).
— What did Dr. Sullivan do for Mona? And given Dr. Sullivan’s dirty look, is the hypnotherapy related to Mona’s plans? Or is the fact that Toby “found” Dr. Sullivan last season a sign she was helping him with something “A”-related back then? And while we’re asking questions, who the heck is Dr. Sullivan’s son? So many Dr. Sullivan-related questions!
— Emily says the French postcard suggests Wilden either killed Ali or is on the "A" team. This might be true, but we're more inclined to think CeCe could somehow be responsible for the postcard. Plus, she and Wilden would have known each other at Cape May and thus might have worked together. When in doubt, blame CeCe.
Other Things To Be Discussed:
— We doubt we were the only ones who adored Aria’s cat-face top this week, right? At least we liked it better than Hanna’s overalls look — which, uh, isn’t saying much. No offense, Han.
— If we owned a red coat and lived in Rosewood, we would burn it immediately, just to make sure not to get falsely accused of anything.
So who's the girl in the red coat? Speculate in the comments below!