The Originals Quotes: Season 1, Episode 6 — “I Feel Like I’ve Been Microwaved”
Credit: Annette Brown/The CW © 2013 The CW Network    

The Originals

The Originals Quotes: Season 1, Episode 6 — “I Feel Like I’ve Been Microwaved”

With the premiere season of The Originals well underway, we’re starting to get our fill of the intense backstory and juicy character development. Luckily, much like its parent series, the New Orleans-based show is totally impressing us in the writing department as well as the acting department.

Seriously, can we just bottle up the snark that seems to run in the Mikaelson family and sell it? Klaus (Joseph Morgan) and Rebekah (Claire Holt) have some of the most wonderful one-liners in the history of TV and they usually have us giggling only a few minutes in.

But the brother-sister duo aren’t the only spewers of TV gold on The Originals. Tonight’s episode, “Fruit of the Poisoned Tree,” saw some crazy drama and it was almost too hard to pick out our Top 10 favorite quotes of the episode, so check them out below and then hit the comments to let us know your favorite!

Reading rainbow

Rebekah: “So this is what you do the first time we’re back together as a family? Vampire book club?”

99 problems

Hayley: “In your absence, as you like to call it, which is a way too polite way of saying your brother put a dagger in heart, I have been attacked by French Quarter vampires, I’ve had to live in a house with a secret dungeon full of coffins, and I was nearly murdered by witches who are convinced that my baby is a Lucifer.

Just a pinch of pixie dust

Rebekah: “Poetry about poisoned apples from dead trees? Looks like someone’s worried about impending daddyhood.”
Klaus: “Nonsense — Elijah’s back. In his presence all problems turn to pixie dust and float away.”

Mommy dearest

Rebekah: “How did I get elected supernanny?”

Big bro problems

Klaus: “Day 1 with you in charge, brother, and already the witch-link to Hayley’s been abducted by zealots.”

Secret circle of sisterhood

Rebekah: “Do me a favor and don’t die on my watch. I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Hayley: “You know, when I first met you, I thought you were a real bitch.”
Rebekah: “What changed your mind?”
Hayley: “Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, but I’ve just grown to like that about you.”

Brave little toaster

Hayley: “I feel like I’ve been microwaved.”

My goodies?

Marcel: Just keeping my city safe from thieves and vandals. But every time I turn around I catch an Original with their hand in the cookie jar.
Rebekah: Well, luckily for you, your cookies are the last thing on my mind.
Marcel: Oh, I can see that. Though I remember a time when things were different.
Rebekah: Maybe once, but not anymore.


Rebekah: “I just want to be free.”
Elijah: “Well then, go. You are free.”

Can't touch this!

Klaus: “You know, I contemplated leaving bits of you artfully arranged outside your family’s tomb. I thought it would leave a fitting message: don’t touch my family…. Just one little snap and it’s toodaloo, Agnes.”

Carson Blackwelder is an Associate Editor at Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow him on Twitter and Google+!

11.5.2013 / 12:00 AM EDT by Carson Blackwelder
Related: The Originals, Features, Quotes, TV

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