With only thirty days until her wedding day, things are only getting crazier for Kim Zolciak on Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding. In Episode 4, she had to deal with her daughter’s first homecoming dance, some strange (and unsanitary!) wedding food, and her even more insane mother.
Read on for the top ten quotes from Episode 4!
10. Kim, to Brielle: “What the f*** is this on your skin?”
Brielle: “That’s my skin!”
Kim: “Is that a mole??”
Here’s a tip, Kim, maybe you should take a break from looking at yourself in the mirror, and give your daughter a once over.
9. Kim, on Brielle’s homecoming date, Scott: “If your boyfriend tries to grab your butt, I’m going to haul off and slap the living shit out of his d***”
Kroy: “Even for a butt grab??”
We’re pretty sure Kim had the SWAT team on speed dial for this dance. Don’t worry Kroy, these rules clearly don’t apply to you.
8. Kroy, on acceptable homecoming behavior: “On the dance floor, we need six inches of air between you two — no grinding.
What year is it, 1950?
7. Kroy, to Kim: “It’s our day, and most importantly, your day.”
He really is perfect husband material.
6. Kroy, on eating foie gras: “It’s kind of like eating tofu almost.”
Sure, if tofu was made from bird guts.
5. Kim: “The two most important things in a wedding: The food and the booze.”
Open bar = successful wedding.
4. Kroy, on the wedding expenses: “I only got two livers [to pay] for this.”
Kim: “You only have one liver in your body, babe ...”
Dust off those old nursing skills, Kim!
3. Kim: “You don’t decide to do a new hairstyle on the wedding day!”
Hairstylist, Derrick J: “Well the brides I work with do!”
Kim: “Well the brides you work with are f***ing nuts!”
We’re kind of with Kim on this one. Especially given that her wedding wigs are pretty much the stars of the show.
2. Kim’s friend, Jen, on seeing Kim’s dog in one of her many wigs: “That is sick … she looks like she’s going to do a doggy porn.”
Brings new meaning to the phrase “doggy style”...
1. Text from Kim’s mother, Karen, when she found out Kim lied to her about the rescheduled wedding cake tasting: “The next time you don’t want me included, say so — I read it on your Twitter. Can’t make it on November 11 — I’m sick. Enjoy.”
Even though finding out on Twitter is pretty low, that’s way harsh, Karen.